Instead of putting folks in jail
Then releasing them later
What if we dressed criminals
So they looked like Darth Vader,
Make them wear black armor
And fill rooms with smoke
And whenever they breath
Make it sound like a choke?
That way when you’re walking
Down a poorly-lit street
You’d know if that stranger
You happened to meet
Is an innocent traveler
Who needs help with a tire
Or a half-robot mugger
Who’s also a liar.
Filed under Poems
If anyone here is deaf
I have an important question:
Do I start jokes with “Have you heard the one about…”
Or do you have a better suggestion?
Filed under Poems
The sky has fallen
The sea has boiled
The Earth has shaken
The contingency’s foiled
The zombies prowl
But I’m okay:
Whipped cream goes “psshhhh”
And they can’t take that away
Filed under Poems
So the Louvre closed its doors today
Which is how Mona Lisa would say
“Je ne t’aime pas
“Alors au revoir.”
(And yes, those do rhyme by the way)
Filed under Poems
And so I lounged on a borrowed couch
Devoid of inspiration
And instead of making the difficult choice
To use my imagination
I went onto my phone to search
The internet for an answer
And I recalled why random prompts
Are worse, perhaps, than cancer.
But undeterred, despite misgivings
I shall now attempt
To write what poetrypromptgenerator.com
Gave me without contempt:
There once was a sanctimonious hand-wringer
Whose neurotic pedantry gave a metaphorical finger
To those who deign to carouse
With those of osseous brows.
Some compare me to him as a visual dead ringer.
Filed under Poems
I want to read a novel
Where the fabled chosen one
Goes on a quest to do something
Like kill the god of the sun
And when we reach the ending
There’s a fabled chosen two
And there’s no sun god after all
And they don’t know what to do.
Filed under Poems
Knock knock. Who’s there? Joe.
Joe who? Joe Mom! LOL!
My poor future kids…
Filed under Poems
“Nothing gold can stay“
Is another way to say
If you’re male and not gay
You’re gonna have to pay.
Filed under Poems
There once was a dame with no name
Who spent days playing a lame game.
Her tame claim to fame came
When her aim to blame the same game
Overcame her shame of being no-name.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 