What if all the billionaires
Just stood out on the street
And walked around in circles
And challenged everyone they’d meet
To have a Pokemon battle
That they would surely lose
And give the winner money?
But alas, they’re only jews.
Tag Archives: Socialism
Diet Supplements
Are you tired of working out?
Wish you could lose some weight?
Then you stumbling on this post
Is nothing short of fate!
See, I’m a famous CEO
Who grew up on the street
And I’ve been on some talk shows
And my life is really neat.
I’ve collaborated
With a bunch of science nerds
To make a diet supplement
That will leave you without words:
Our many happy clients
Universally lost weight,
And we’re officially endorsed
By nearly every socialist state.
What is this magic product?
You really want to know?
Okay, since you asked nicely…
“Dehydrated H2O.”
Filed under Poems
2020 Voters (And Europe)
I went to college and got a degree
And hoped it would get me a job.
I learned how to drink, put off work and have threesomes,
And be both a loser and snob.
I can write ten page papers with ten words of content
And get booze with no valid ID.
Now I’m an unemployed expert in horticultural psychology
And I think you deserve this for free.
Filed under Poems
Socialism: Free Trial Edition
If you’re tired of Trump
Then make the jump
To sunny Venezuela!
There you can shirk
And do no work
And the socialist state will pay ya!
You’ll save so much money
It isn’t funny
‘Cause there’s nothing for sale to buy
So if you bite your thumb
‘Cause there’s no food to bum
You can tell South America “hi.”
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 