Mauve is a version of pink
That prettier than you might think.
It sounds like beigey-blue
But that’s just not true.
It was named for the mallow flower
And possesses an old-fashioned power
To make people yawn and complain.
It’s like a happy cocktail stain.
Filed under Poems
Sometimes life is sunny
And everything goes right;
Sometimes you’re the VP of Marketing
And decide to revamp Bud Light.
Filed under Poems
If at first you fail
And get your ass sent to jail
Then I sincerely hope
You use only liquid soap.
Filed under Poems
The was a Virginian from Idaho
Who brought from Alaska a pile of snow.
Iowa him a debt
Hawaii’ll pay? Don’t know yet
I’m Missouri-able, and might flee to Mexico.
Filed under Poems
“Short people might not play basketball
But that doesn’t mean that they cannot.“
That was the reasoning cited
For making the Kool-Aid man an astronaut.
Filed under Poems
Whose milkshake is that? I think I know.
Its owner is quite happy though.
Full of joy like a vivid rainbow,
I watch her laugh. I cry hello.
She gives her milkshake a shake,
And laughs until her belly aches.
The only other sound’s the break,
Of distant waves and birds awake.
The milkshake is sweet, cold and deep,
But she has promises to keep,
After cake and lots of sleep.
Sweet dreams come to her cheap.
She rises from her gentle bed,
With thoughts of kittens in her head,
She eats her jam with lots of bread.
Ready for the day ahead.
Filed under Poems
Part of making art
Is having sincere belief
That your crap is gold.
Filed under Poems
I watched “Everything Everywhere All At Once”
And all I can think about now
Is that a movie that makes less sense than my poems
Won seven Oscars somehow…
Filed under Poems
If I could name a river after myself
I think I’d call it “David River”
‘Cause that’s a limitation
Of the whole “name-it-after-yourself” deal.
If I could name a city after myself
I can probably guess your IQ
By what you thought the answer would be.
It would be New David River City
Because duh.
Filed under Poems
Perhaps if people possessing purple percherons
Prepared their persons patiently
Purple percherons put in purses
Would prudently pursue purer pursuits?
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 