There once was a noble chihuahua
Whose owner was trapped in the shower.
He flew like an ace
To bite her on the face
Then barked nonstop for 24 hours.
Tag Archives: Stupid
Travelogue, Volume 2
I flew home on a plane through the air
Then I drove in a car on a road.
Now I’m sitting butt-down on a chair
And my creativity has yet to fully load.
Filed under Poems
Empathy
If everybody in the world
Could be a fish for just one day
I think we’d finally be able to make
Gas station sushi go away.
Filed under Poems
Travel Traditions
I flew on a plane to New Orleans
And by now you know what that means:
I’m probably tired, and pleased to report
That this poem is late and also is short.
Filed under Poems
Because Sugar Comes In Many Colors
Today I learned something amazing…
The answer to a riddle:
Apparently there’s more than one
Flavor of Skittles!
Filed under Poems
In The Distance, China Just Laughs
There once was an admiral poll
That asked “how to meet our recruiting goal”
Options one was “Raise pay”
Option two was “Be gay”
And the navy said “‘Kay queens, let’s roll”
Filed under Poems
Island’ed On Another Pun
One time I went to Hawaii
And I let out a heavy sighii
‘Cause it’s very hot in paradise
And aloha temperature would be nice.
Filed under Poems
A Blessing In Disguise?
If I had a nickel
For every time I’ve wanted a nickel
I’d have enough to buy
At least one delicious pickle.
If I had a dollar
For every time I’ve wanted a dollar
I’d be so buried in delicious pickles
No one would hear me holler.
Filed under Poems
Leading Tomorrow’s Youth
Instead of “Ladies and Gentlemen”
I said “Hello Heathens Galore”.
Now everybody knows my name
And I don’t get to teach preschool no more.
Filed under Poems
No Butts About It
Imagine a world where nobody
Has a butt of any kind:
Nobody would ever poop again
And nobody’d ask “But why?”
Pants wouldn’t be near as popular
And gym girls would work on their pecs
And some guys would probably fantasize
About lasses with the jiggliest necks.
No one would horde toilet paper
And fart jokes just wouldn’t exist
And I could go on, but I think my point
Has been made just with this little list.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 