Shucka-Shucka-Sucka! (Shucks?)

I once knew a Moroccan

Who thought that I was shockin’.

I gave him a shake

To see what sound he’d make

And he said “That’s a maraca, dumbass!”

Advertisements

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For

I brought a dozen roses,

A diamond, and a kitten

To serenade by starlight

The lass with whom I’m smitten.

I sang “Every Breath You Take”

To my very special girl.

Then she locked me in her laser sights

And sang me “Goodbye Earl.”

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

Why Cops Love Summer

The twinkling stream

In sea-foam green

Was strolling o’er the rocks

And on the sand

A merry band

Were clothed in naught but socks.

They danced about,

Let it all hang out,

Just happy to be young,

Especially he,

Who’s six-foot-three

And very amply-hung.

Their harmless fun

Had hurt no one

But the cops lacked any pity:

“This here stream,

“Rural as it may seem,

“Is legally still the city.”

The cops gave out

With an air of clout

Citations to the nudists.

They seemed unstressed

As they got dressed

As if they all were buddhists.

Now clothed, the band

Heeded police demand.

It’s true! I checked on Snopes.

Unclothed, unarmed

They went home unharmed,

So black folks: there’s still hope!

4 Comments

Filed under Poems

Autumn in Detroit

Autumn in Detroit:

The trees are red each golden morning,

Crisp as dollar bills

That you stole from someone’s car.

Then comes Autumn’s rain

And the colors turn to gray December,

Dark and full of pain

Like that out-of-business bar.

The snow is heavy, cold

And almost covers the graffiti.

Unmelting, it turns gray

Like the prison window’s tint.

And as you bundle up

In your tick-infested cotton blanket

You smile and thank the Lord

That you do not live in Flint.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

There’s A Guy Who Gets His Ass Kicked In A Dark Alley

Sometimes I lie away at night

Wondering which fancy jackass

Invented the word “pretentious.”

If our positions should coincide

In an unlit walkway between buildings

I’d like to thrust a limb pertaining to my lower body

To the rear-side of the juncture connecting his counterparts of the aforementioned lower-body elements

Purely for hedonic gratification.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

Oops! I meant “Perfunctory.” Wait, No…

“Pusillanimous”

Was how I described my date.

I did not get laid.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

Any Time An “…Uck” Word Falls Into The Rhyme Scheme

I wanted to play hockey

And be like a Canuck.

I settled for air hockey

But I didn’t have a puck.

A lot of you tuned out of the story

Because the last rhyme might be (from the record struck)

And for those of you who think that

Too bad! You’re out of luck.

(Hyuk, hyuk, hyuk)

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems