My girlfriend came home one day,
Just walked in through the kitchen door.
“Do you like my new haircut?”
I asked “What team’s Mynu play for?”
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You’re A Grand Wizard Harry
If all white people are racists
And support the KKK
It makes me see Hagrid
In an entirely new way.
Filed under Poems
Watch Out
I saw a sign while driving home
That said “Watch for Children At Play.”
Although inconvenient to not know the time
I made the trade anyway.
Filed under Poems
Season 8
Roses are red.
Violets are blue.
I put as much effort into this poem
As the Game of Thrones writers would’ve.
Filed under Poems
It’s Awkward When Someone Says “Speak Now Or Forever Hold Your Peace”
When a man has nothing to say
He waits in silence for the silence to end.
When a girl I like has nothing to say
She says “That’s so nice, but I have a boyfriend.”
Filed under Poems
She Did Not Laugh Throatily
She asked me for a diamond necklace.
I gave her a diamond whose shoulders touch its head.
She asked me for a diamond necklace
But I gave her a diamond neckless instead.
Filed under Poems
When Parents Use Your Full Name
I was not prepared
For how badly I’d be scared
When mom called “a^2 + 2ab
“+b^2, come here to me.”
FYI, my name’s (a+b)^2
Filed under Poems
