Their once was an organized crime
Who fixed football games all the time.
Then a female singer
Put the crooks through the wringer
And black Tom Brady won with a dime.
Category Archives: Poems
hAIkus
If you say to me
“Epistemological”
I will think you’re smart.
————————————
If you say to me
“Cheese is made from poodle eggs”
I will think you’re smart.
————————————
If you say to me
Anything at all, that’s fine.
I’m not built to judge.
Filed under Poems
Woe Is Me (Millennial Edition)
“I need to write a poem”
Isa thing I say many a night.
That’s usually followed by a poem like this.
Thus is the artist’s plight.
Filed under Poems
Fishing For Likes?
There was like a guy from like somewhere
Who like liked like things like like long hair.
He like like-liked this girl
Whose hair had like a curl
And he was like “I like like-like you. So there.”
Filed under Poems
Just Like Being A Real General, But Without The Pay
All of those violent video games…
The ones with the Nazis and guns…
Are thought by most people as harmless,
Just mindless and gory and fun.
They think they’re just one simulation
Of engaging in conquest and war
Where a kid can sit down for an evening
And proceed to, the whole world, ignore.
But when you grow up you realize
And begin to see children who stare
At a screen sending soldiers to slaughter
With less than a whiff of a care
And you realize with eyes open wider
And a hint of an older man’s sorrow:
They’re not corrupting the youth after all:
They’re training the kings of tomorrow.
Filed under Poems
Big Girls Are Settling Now
I read an inspiring article
About how blue whales reproduce.
Apparently, they interbreed with fin whales
Who are not as large or recluse.
The fact that these largest of animals
Might bring their endangerment to an end
Gives me hope. It should give you hope too
That a blue whale might be your girlfriend.
Filed under Poems
In Retrospect, The End Result Is The Same
Since democracy is suspect now
I’d like to propose a solution
That could make our governments honest
If we ensure proper execution:
Everyone who wants something to change
Writes down their ideas. Then next
They go in a pit with a cheetah or two
And whoever lasts longest we elect.
On the bright side, the number of lawyers will drop
And less people will share their dumb thoughts;
On the other hand, cheetahs don’t like to eat metal
So we’d end up all governed by bots…
Filed under Poems
Sorry Mom!
Yesterday I launched a book.
My mother went to take a look.
She clicked on the link I left
And found herself feeling bereft.
Turns out the link I left was lame
And I’m the only one to blame.
Try this link instead! I hope
That this time I am not a dope.
Launch Day!
Hello dear readers!
I write you today
With a break from the “ick”
And a fair dose of “yay”.
Available now
Is my most recent book,
Selected poems on love.
Go ahead! Take a look!
It’s called “Cheaper Than Flowers”
And that is the truth.
If you order now
It will not be uncouth:
It’s a wonderful gift
For Valentine’s day
For that lover of yours
Who just won’t go away…
The Superbowl… Biden Vs. Trump… Yeah, We’re In A Loop
The groundhog saw his shadow
And the Summer’s coming soon.
Now we have another choice:
Giant meteor or typhoon?
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 