I set my piggy bank on fire
And it burned for seven days.
I threw it at the police
And they murmured their “Oy vey”s.
I watched the burning money fly
Precisely, without fail,
And thus have I invented
The Mazal Tov Cocktail.
Yay for Forethought!
So they dissolved the police force
And the officers found new jobs
As body guards for wealthy folks
Who pay with golden gobs.
Those who forced defunding
Now demand free guards for all.
I guess that the defunders
Want policemen after all!
Filed under Poems
Strong Feelings Abound
I wrote a knock-knock joke
And put it on my page
But no one wrote to ask “Who’s there?”
Thus: My impotent rage.
Filed under Poems
When You Have A Punchline But It’s Four Syllables Long…
Step one: Be God’s son
Step two: Write on stone tablets
And Step three: Prophet!
Filed under Poems
Euphonious Flosculinity
I verified the veracity
Of very vermillion verbs.
The fairly ferrous fairy
Ferried very hairy herbs.
Very ferrous fairies fared
Fairly unverified.
These sayings may be meaningless
But they make me smile inside.
Filed under Poems
Now I Have An Excuse Never To Run For Public Office!
Here’s to George,
The man who died,
And in so doing
Showed it’s safe outside
To gather en masse
Without pandemic fears.
May he be remembered
When the next “plague” appears!
Filed under Poems
[Insert That One Guy Here]
His heart was as big as a pop-up ad
On a movie you watch on your phone.
His mind was as big as the X in the corner
That tells it to leave you alone.
Filed under Poems
What Happens When I Get Less Than 14 Hours Of Sleep
Today I am sleepy.
Tomorrow I’m somnolent.
Many already realized
This poem won’t rhyme.
Filed under Poems
New To Alaska?
The air was full of mosquitoes
And someone gave me a spray:
“It’s called mosquito repellant
“And it keeps the bugs away.”
I put it on my body
And away went all my cares.
Now I’m going to try the spray
For repelling the bears!
Filed under Poems
