Three grey crows
Walk into a bar
Where liberals make jokes
About how white they are.
???mism
Glass half-empty,
Glass half-full:
Whole debate
Is kind of dull.
Glass is folded
In a ball.
I don’t get
This debate at all.
Filed under Poems
The Dinner Date
Socializing’s when you find
People you dislike the least
And gather anxiously
To waste money on a feast
While imbibing neurotoxins
To make the evening fun
Then compete to talk the most
Until you all agree “we’re done.”
Filed under Poems
Rental Property In A College Town
So you’re in need of housing
And you’re the budget-concious type, right?
Well I’ve got an arrangement
That will surely have you swipe right!
Now, first impressions matter
But second chances matter more
So don’t pass too harsh a judgement
Just ’cause it doesn’t have a door.
The walls have unique colors
But all’s not what it seems.
Some folks don’t think it looks at all
Like puke and shattered dreams.
If you’re one who likes hunting
But like to stay inside the walls
You can satisfy both longings
With wild game that roams the halls.
When it rains you won’t need faucets.
When its hot a breeze comes in.
When it’s cold you’ll make a fire,
Which in my book is a win.
So if your shattered ego
Is numb enough to stay
You’ll get the cheapest rent in town:
A thousand bucks a day!
Filed under Poems
North and Whyknown’uh Approve
Parents these days think names
Are unique if spelled a different way.
Alas we end up asking
“How do you spell William with a K?”
Filed under Poems
Engineers Talk About Love
They say when you love something
Time will stand still.
I think love’s correlated
With my watch-repair bill.
KOA Circa 1801
Sparks rise into the cold black air.
We the living huddle by the source.
We’ve a pail of frigid water to wash our hair
And the lot of us smell more or less like horse.
The moon is but a crack in gloomy midnight.
Our dinner was a lukewarm can of beans.
We’re thirsty after hours in harsh sunlight
But there’s no clean water to fill up our canteens.
Somewhere in the blackness comes a growling
And we dare not leave our camp to take a piss.
All the while Daddy is a smiling
While the rest of the family thinks “we paid for this?”
Filed under Poems
Times Getting-Old-Now Roman
One of the items
On my list of wants
Is the power to speak
In different fonts.
The power of Impact,
Or Arial’s even measure…
The freedom to choose
Would be such a treasure!
But alas in this world
Of fontless death and birth
We’re trapped in a state
Of Helvetica on Earth.
Filed under Poems
Involuntary Green Party Inductees Share Their Stories
Clumps of verdant
Pungent green,
Thicker than
I’ve ever seen.
Green as moss
In the city park,
Thick and tough
As cedar bark.
Tufts of emerald
Large as deer,
As far as you
Can see and hear.
Aromatic green
As wide as can be…
I only can wonder
Why it’s growing on me.
Filed under Poems
Dracula’s Social Life
Why does the slain dragon
No longer roar?
Why must we hear nothing
From the trophy boar?
Why does Mr. Presley
Play music no more?
Why must other dead things
Be such a snore?
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 