Aromatic plants
Cuddle with their families
Before reaping day.
Tiny baby rose
Has her petals scattered on
Your bedroom carpet.
When will peace return
And the wanton slaughter end?
Why not do your part?
Tag Archives: Ads
Upsides
The nice thing about AI ads
Is that they’re poorly done
So I’ve no need to buy their stuff
And so declare we won.
Another proof of victory
Is that the CEOs shelled out
A lot of money for this tech
And thus without a doubt
Will double down on ineffective
Tools for advertising.
AI will bring a golden age
Of happily not buying!
Filed under Poems
Tourism
I saw a commercial on TV
For the state of Illinois.
Apparently, they have a restaurant
And a museum too. Oh boy!
I’m packing my bags and dreaming
Of my grand midwest escape
Where the humidity is thick
And so is the red tape!
Filed under Poems
Is This How Marketing Works?
Are you ugly?
Do you have a small penis?
Can you delineate the difference
Between a species and a genus?
If you answered no
To any of these questions
Then you’ll enjoy my poetry!
Filed under Poems
A New Perspective
I’ve started to think of ads
As memes from strangers’ dads
About brands I don’t know
And that makes me feel so
Much less like I’ve been punched in the ‘nads.
Filed under Poems
Why Aren’t Billionaires Doing This?
When I get rich, I want to buy
All the ads for my favorite shows
And just put a 3-second picture up
To make sure everyone knows
That the reason you don’t have to watch
A billion stupid ads
Is because I’m rich and I think they suck
So enjoy the bandwidth, lads!
Know Any Urologists Hiring A Marketing Expert?
If your Weiner is white
Or your Weiner is black
You’ll be alright.
I’ll cut you some slack;
If your Weiner is red
Or your Weiner is yellow
You might have a problem.
But I know a fellow!
Filed under Poems
Guess What Part Of The Movie I Wrote This During?
What if we had a recognizable person
Talk over some muzak
About a mega corporation
About which they’re unenthusiastic
And we’ll have an inoffensive joke
Where a dad does something silly?
That’ll make people desire
To pay us willy-nilly!
Filed under Poems
Dear Every Channel Today, Apparently…
If you feel the need to change our minds
Two days before our votes are cast
I suggest that your campaign was crap
And the time for changing minds has passed.
Filed under Poems
Seriously Though!
Instead of advertisements
That interrupt your day
I think we should have achievements
That say to you “Hooray!
“You did a thing that worked
“And your team from [insert brand]
“Reminds you that you’re awesome
“And we’re giving you a hand!”
If a business did this
I would probably buy their stuff.
Instead, we’re scared or guilted
Into brands by a digital bluff.
So if you are a corporation
(‘Cause corporations are people too)
And you read this far, I hope that
You’ll do what you need to do.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 