All I can say about our state of affairs
Is that watching movies about Rome
Makes me think “This government’s ok,
“Or at least better than the one back home.”
Tag Archives: America
I Miss The Good Old Days… 2015
There once was a man from Ohio
Who didn’t put pronouns in his bio.
He works hard and makes money
And he married his honey
And why can’t this be status quo?
Filed under Poems
I’d Get Arrested In Europe For Writing This…
There once was an American leader
Whose mind was starting to peter.
He said “Easter’s the day
“Where we normalize gay”
And some people still think this ain’t theater.
Filed under Poems
But Will They Play A Jazzy Star-Spangled Banner On A Ukulele While I Wait?
Thank you for calling the Federal Gov,
The people who rule you and speak from above.
We’re using your tax dollars to be on our break
So please wait seven hours. Your freedom’s at stake.
Filed under Poems
The Hero We Need…
So mesa was a thinkin’
Yousa complainin’ all about
This election between the grandpas
Who’s a handle and a spout
‘Cause a woopsie in white house
Followed by an oopsie-dee
Makes you thinky, given options,
You’lda even vote for meeee!
Filed under Poems
The Parabola Is Beginning Its Descent…
In 1999 the Matrix took the red pill.
In 2012, the Avengers were assembled.
In 2025 we’ll get the fifth Fantastic Four.
And now you understand just why I trembled.
Filed under Poems
Your Tax Dollars At Work #7,419
Before every movie you watch
There’s an FBI warning and on it
Is a message that vows either prison or fines
If you copy the movie and pawn it.
Meanwhile, in 38 states
Shoplifting a movie is legal.
I think it’s time the the FBI bird
Was replaced by a drunk cross-eyed seagull.
Filed under Poems
When They Started Using Those “Printer” Things, Everything Went Downhill…
When the Roman Empire fell
People thought “This isn’t swell”
And for a while they were right
And all the world was dark as night.
Then a guy named Gutenberg
Turned out to be a giant nerd
And invented a thing called a printing press
Which writers say reduced their stress.
After this, a rennaissance
Began, and then a war in France
And freedom became the big buzzword
That people gravitated toward.
Now as another empire falls
I wish we’d have the collective balls
To look how we got in this mess
And demand they bring back the printing press.
Filed under Poems
Meanwhile, Google’s AI Says…
If I had a nickel
For every commercial starring a white guy
I would have as much money
As the black people who aren’t in ads.
—————————————————————
Violets are black.
Roses are black.
Criminals are racially diverse
So cut me some slack.
—————————————————————
Sure, the future isn’t white
But don’t you worry! It’s alright!
Europe’s long past its golden days
And no one likes swimming anyways.
Filed under Poems
After EVs, What’s Next?
Someday in the future
Ours cars will be a dream:
We’ll make them half the weight and cost
Of today’s driving machine.
They’ll have less wear on tires
And do less harm to the roads,
Go four times as far in rain or shine
And haul heavier loads.
They’ll recharge themselves in minutes
And use only renewable power.
We’ll call them “Gasoline powered”.
Just my thoughts from the shower…
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 