The fact that an unelected billionaire
Firing thousands of unelected folk
Is considered an outrage to many
Is my new favorite real-life joke.
Tag Archives: America
Off The Grid
The government is playing Yahtzee
Except instead of rolling dice
They get to place the dice face-up
However they think is nice.
Meanwhile, they make us roll our dice
And tell them what we rolled
Even though they already watched us
And take half our score ‘til we fold.
Playing Yahtzee with the government
Is not a whole lot of fun
So that’s why I want to go live in the woods
With my wife, my dog, and my gun.
I Wrote The First Line… But I Ain’t No Quitter
There once was a form called the FAFSA
Which asked for my tax info. Laughs, ya?
Then my wife had to say
That yes, I did pay,
All to get zero money. That’s a gaffe-sa!
Filed under Poems
The Worst Place That Everyone Wants To Be?
Anerica is an evil place
Led by terrible rapists and thieves
And yet people say it violates their rights
If anyone asks them to leave?
Filed under Poems
A Meme Is Born…
It’s been 6 hours since Donald
Gave a speech at Capitol Hill
Expressing his opinions
And imposing his Donaldly will
But the question that America
Will be asking is not about that.
Instead, we’re asking what’s the deal
With Melania’s mile-wide hat.
Filed under Poems
The End Of An Era
There once was a puppet named Joe
And what he did he doesn’t know.
Tomorrow he leaves
And while blue-hair girl grieves
We’ll welcome back orange MAGA bro.
Filed under Poems
Bigger Hoard+Fewer Knights=Gender Studies!
Roses are red and violets are blue
And people say dragons aren’t real
But I think the dragons, between me and you,
Ran out of princesses to steal
And so turned to work outside their tradition
Like enrolling the maidens in college
Where they charge a fortune for the latest edition
Of textbooks for more useless knowledge.
Filed under Poems
The Poetical Political Spectrum Test
The Left
If your daughter tells you “Mother
“I am actually your son”
Then tell him that’s amazing
And he’s still your favorite one.
The Right
If she says she wants testosterone
Tell her she’s testost-on-her-own.
Filed under Poems
Ah Yes… You Charge Us More To Remind Us To Pay You To Help Them Steal From Us
At 11:59 on December 31st
A ball fell in NYC.
It was at that moment Turbotax
Said “It’s time to remind you of me!”
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 