You know that one app
That you use every day
With a UX that’s perfect
In every way?
About that… I’ve great nees
To share here today:
We’ve launched a new update!
You just have to pay…
Tag Archives: Annoying
July 23, 2023 · 6:39 pm
…And The Young Female Offspring Is Called A Doelet
You remember that one guy in high school
Who really, REALLY, loved to talk
About how chinchillas reproduce
And the unpublished music of Bach
And no matter how incorrect he was
Or how bored you happened to be?
That guy is every political discussion
In 2023.
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June 13, 2023 · 9:12 pm
Everyone Knows Someone Who Needs To Read This
If you cannot speak kindly
Do not speak at all.
If you have no knowledge
It’s best to be quiet.
If you’re awesome, just zip it.
If you’ve a story, just skip it.
Shutting up is amazing…
Please try it!
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March 5, 2023 · 8:14 pm
0.3 Ounces Of Pure Evil (Mouse Saga Pt. 1)
Little mouse
In our house
Upsetting my future spouse
Makes me decide
Mouse genocide
May very well be justified.
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March 4, 2023 · 10:04 pm
The Most Annoying Sound In The Universe
There once was a CO detector
That was meant to be a home protector.
It beeps loudly at night
Though the battery’s alright
So I hit it with an axe and wrecked ‘er!
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January 26, 2023 · 6:30 pm
Driver’s Etiquette
If you think you need
To drive a faster speed
When your car’s ahead of mine
Then all is good and fine.
If you would go faster
When behind me, I’m your master.
Yes, that makes me a jerk
But oh boy does it work!
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January 6, 2023 · 8:26 pm
A Man Has ArachNeeds
I spent weeks building my mansion,
A perfect family house
Where I can raise my children.
Despite my lack of a spouse.
But then you came and ruined it,
Just smashed it with your face
And then you said it’s my fault?
You’re a great disgrace!
It took me lots of time and silk
To spin my home, and sure
It’s exactly at eye-level for you
And right on your front door…
But still! You should apologize!
What’s that? You won’t? Well then
I guess I’ll have to get revenge
By crawling on you when you sleep again…
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May 24, 2022 · 7:00 pm
Why Can’t It Actually Suck?
The world is fine, mostly alright,
With occasional bits of blight.
I’m decently fed and slept okay
And nothing much got in my way.
The weather’s cool, the sports are going,
The mountain’s tall, the river’s flowing
And I’m just here like “Okay,
“But can I please sulk anyway?”
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October 23, 2021 · 5:15 pm
I JUST WANT TO KNOW HOW MUCH YOU CHARGE TO MAKE ME FEEL HEALTHY WHILE I DO NOTHING!
There was a time without taxes,
A time without corporate spying,
And if you believe the Bible there was
A time without even dying.
But one timeless thing that has always been
Through every era and age
Is that no gym will ever show
Non-promotional prices on their front page.
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August 4, 2021 · 5:05 pm
Breathe In… Breathe Out… Panic…
Sometimes people do something
That cannot be forgiven:
That is something that is always true.
For example, they’ll remind you
That you are consciously breathing
And now you’re nervous. Lala loopdey do.
The Daily Travesty 