A woman asking for advice
Is like a cat exposing its belly:
You can do what you think is nice
But it’s going to end up really yelly.
Tag Archives: Cats
Gateway Drugs
One cat is a pet.
Two cats can be dear.
Three cats are a warning sign
That menopause is near.
Four cats are a danger
And five cats scream a warning.
That said, my wife thinks 6+ cats
Just make for a snuggly morning.
Filed under Poems
Normalcy Is Overrated
If you eat noodles with a knife
I bet you probably love your life.
If your best friend is a cat
Your probably satisfied with that.
If your name starts with a Z
You’re already cooler than me.
What makes you weird’s what makes you you
So unto your weird self be true.
Filed under Poems
Kitty Says…
I brought them a gift.
It flew off and bit their kid.
I’m the goodest boy.
We Returned It Twice, But He Keeps Insisting…
Big fat fluffy cat
Thinks our Amazon wish list
Includes a dead bird
Filed under Poems
My Favorite Superhero
We’ve got people addicted to drugs,
Alcohol, porn, and their phones
Yet my cat hears someone say “pspspspsps”
And just feels content deep in his bones.
Filed under Poems
Are You There God? It’s Me, Fluffles
I am a fearsome hunter
And have killed a hundred men
And yet I sleep in peace, filled with
Tranquility and zen
Because someday I hope I may
Catch some deity’s eye.
They’ll think I’m cute and house me
In their mansion in the sky,
They’ll feed me all I can consume
And rub my belly while
Saying “Who’s a good warrior?”
With a goofy voice and smile,
And let me come and go all day
Through a small transparent flap
Instead of being human
And putting up with all this crap.
Filed under Poems
Who Needs A Kid When You Have…
Big fat ginger cat
Satan in a fluffy ball
He deserves more food
Filed under Poems
Evening Cuddles
Fat cat on my lap goes splat
And I pat his fat and that is that.
I rub and rub all ‘round his roundness
Until I question my mental soundness.
I sploop his leg and bwork his boop
And give his little gleeb a ploop
And then he bites and runs away
And thus I end another day.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 