If you make some lemon chiffon
Then add escargot and dijon
Then turn up the mixer
You make an elixir
That makes wife cook all meals from now on.
Tag Archives: Cooking
What Did You Have For Lunch?
Today I tried making sushi
And, in a way, it was a success…
I managed to put all the rice in a roll
And wrap it in bamboo and press.
The ingredients all fit together
And it tasted like sushi indeed.
The downside is it looked like Lizzo
Wrapped in very expensive seaweed.
Filed under Poems
Milk Was Just The Beginning (The Grilled Cheese Sandwich Saga)
People are always joking
About how it weirds them out
That someone grabbed a cow’s udder
And drank what came out.
But I’m wondering who
Ground some wheat with a stone
Mixed it with milk and bacteria
Then left it alone
Before heating it up
To 300 degrees
And then frying it up
With some butter and cheese…
Filed under Poems
True Stories from a Man’s Kitchen
Today I made some cheesecake
That I got from a mix.
I mixed a lime and whipping cream
With several cream cheese sticks,
But when I picked the mixer
To taste the final yum
I realized I forgot to add the mix
And yes, I’m really that dumb!
Filed under Poems
Why Honesty Is A Dying Virtue
People these days
Are way too PC.
Take my friend (who for privacy
And rhyming’s sake we’ll call “B”).
B got offended
When I said “poop and pee.”
Even so, it’s still what
Her dinner tasted like to me.
Filed under Poems
Culinary Efficiency
I made a fancy dinner
Like they do in Paris, France.
Rose petals and caviar
To step up the romance,
A salad of arugula
(‘Cause kale’s so bourgeois)
And a soup of herbs and lamb compote
Which sounded good to moi,
An entree of duck sauvignon,
A glass of chardonnay
(Which may match well, I sure don’t know
But neither do my guests, so it’s okay),
And all topped off with creme brulee
And fried ice cream served hot.
My only regret for the evening
Was putting them all in a single pot.
Filed under Poems
A Recipe For Disaster
A teaspoon of a crazy thought,
Two cups of your favorite beer,
A pinch of “well, it couldn’t hurt”
Absolutely zero fear.
Filed under Poems
The Steak Mistake
Under the light of the moon
In a restaurant in June
A brand new chef prepares a steak.
He brazes it well,
And basks in the smell.
He decides to take a break.
But that chef forgot
The burner was hot
And the meat burned like the sun
That chef’s mistakes,
They razed the steaks,
And I hope you enjoyed the pun.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 