Tag Archives: Deep Thoughts

African Chant (My First Attempt)

I think African people

Should name more children “Enad”

‘Cause then people would ask

“Where’s your kid?”

And then Enad would walk in

And people would say “Hi Enad”

And the parents would get upset

Because they think their kid got hyena’d

But then they’d realize the irony

And laugh

And laugh

And laugh some more

Because they were the real hyenas all along.

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Life’s Hard Questions

If you gave a guy from Zimbabwe

A billion dollars cash

He could buy a whole lot of cattle

And a man with a lot of cattle is rich,

But if you give an American guy

A billion dollars worth of cattle

He can send his enemies cow poop

For the rest of his life,

So who’s the real winner?

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This Poem Doesn’t Rhyme But My English Professor Still Hated It

I think a good name for a dog

Is “Help”

Because when you call after it

Other people look at you

And some of those lookers

Are rich and/or sexy

And enjoy the company

Of cheekily named dogs

And their owners…

Just sayin’.

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Don’t Let The Faux-Somnolent Diminish Your Importance!

When one says “I must be dreaming”

(Implying you’re something they snoozed)

You should slap them with a chicken

Just to make them more confused.

An alligator also works

But they’re tougher to hide.

Also, if you’re sleepy and poultry-phobic

I find it’s best to stay inside.

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Career Advice

If you were born with giant feet

And a spherical scarlet nose

And super pale powdery skin

And carrying a plastic rose

I think you should become a clown

And make a living so

‘Cause if you don’t then people

Might think you’re creepy, just so you know.

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Why Honesty Is A Dying Virtue

People these days

Are way too PC.

Take my friend (who for privacy

And rhyming’s sake we’ll call “B”).

B got offended
When I said “poop and pee.”

Even so, it’s still what

Her dinner tasted like to me.

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