Instead of putting folks in jail
Then releasing them later
What if we dressed criminals
So they looked like Darth Vader,
Make them wear black armor
And fill rooms with smoke
And whenever they breath
Make it sound like a choke?
That way when you’re walking
Down a poorly-lit street
You’d know if that stranger
You happened to meet
Is an innocent traveler
Who needs help with a tire
Or a half-robot mugger
Who’s also a liar.
Filed under Poems
Some say energy should be solar.
Some say nuclear is the way.
How much electricity does burning sex offenders produce?
Just a thought… but affordable, eh?
Filed under Poems
If you’re ever feeling lonely
Go to the store and buy a melon
Then drive to your local prison
And give your purchase to a felon.
Criminals love melons…
Seedy fruit for seedy guys.
Also, you’re no longer lonely
And, perhaps, you may be wise.
Filed under Poems
Before every movie you watch
There’s an FBI warning and on it
Is a message that vows either prison or fines
If you copy the movie and pawn it.
Meanwhile, in 38 states
Shoplifting a movie is legal.
I think it’s time the the FBI bird
Was replaced by a drunk cross-eyed seagull.
Filed under Poems
Tonight my pipes were in trouble
Because they’d broken the law.
The cops spotted their getaway
And shouted “There! Haha”
And then the cops made a booboo
As they called to the pipes in the night:
They shouted “Freeze!” and now
There’s no water to shower tonight.
Filed under Poems
I created a robot who creates electricity
By eating crackers. He’s chattery
But alas his social life was cut short
When he was charged with a saltine battery.
Filed under Poems
If you commit a crime
Don’t record it on your phone
Because Siri’s always watching
Even though you are alone
And in court she’ll testify
And show you she means business
Because if Siri’s anything
She’s a certified iWitness.
Filed under Poems
If at first you fail
And get your ass sent to jail
Then I sincerely hope
You use only liquid soap.
Filed under Poems
Just time
No space
I wait
I pace
Feel stuck
Lack grace
Hands sweat
Hearts race
Then I hear
And I see
There is light
I am free!
Break the lock
Lose the key
I was that
Now I’m me.
Walking forward
Trying to run
Out of the tomb
Into the sun
Losing all my chains
Shedding my orange jumpsuit
Body free of all my pains
I am a vine grown from a root
What do I have left to do
Now that I am set free
Will I look for you
Or look for me
In the sunlight
Who will I be
Am I alright
Is this good
Who am I
I’m a bird
Can I fly
Hands sweat
Feet walk
Eyes wide
Tongues talk
Girls run
Boys chase
Same time
New space
Filed under Poems
There once was a homicidal maniac
Who like to hold poets hostage.
He may not understand rhyming
But as long as I keep writing
He won’t turn me into bolognese sauce…
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 