You know Jumanji,
Zathura and such –
Those movies where board games
Get to be a bit much?
I think this election
Is the Jumanji-equivalent
Of Monopoly, where rich people
Make voters ambivalent.
Tag Archives: Humor
The Dinosaur’s Last Thoughts
I wish upon a shooting star
Brightly passing in the night.
The light, sustained, grows ever closer
So I wish with all my might.
And as the light turns fiery red
The star keeps coming closer still.
I hope my wish comes true yet I
Begin to doubt it ever will.
Filed under Poems
…And Don’t Even Get Me Started On Verse And Meter!
A picture is worth a thousand words…
I’m sure there’s a poem there.
Normally I’d be lazy and post a picture
But tonight even that much I don’t care.
Filed under Poems
And He Didn’t Even Get A Chance To Write A Title
Way way back in time
Before to burp was an imposition
And male dinosaurs ruled the earth
And female dinosaurs stayed in the kitchen…
Editor’s Note: This poem was never finished as the poet was brutally crushed to death by a vengeful time-traveling she-brontasaurus who is also your mother.
Filed under Poems
The Internet Circa November 2016
You know when you lose
And you feel pretty lame
But you shake hands
And tell your partner “good game?”
I hope that you don’t
Because that old-fashioned crap is dead.
Losing is for losers.
Inaugurate Bernie instead!
Filed under Poems
Read This Poem To Your Children… You’ll Thank Me Later
Seahawks run.
Hawks run slowly.
Seahawks run quickly.
Spelling matters.
Patriots suck.
Filed under Poems
Somewhere A Nice Guy Is Finishing Second To Last
I like to raise a ruckus,
Rouse some rabble, have some fun.
I’m a manly man, so wild
That my hair is in a bun.
I’m true to my own nature
Even if it makes folks hate me.
I’m a mysterious loner bad-boy
So why does no one want to date me?
Filed under Poems
Perhaps He Should Have
They say “be polite,”
“Use your manners and be kind.”
If I wanted to be a diplomat
I’d have gone to college, mind.
Filed under Poems
A Sneak Peek At Poems From My Upcoming Senate Campaign
You may have both heard
I can’t be bothered
To write funny poems
Before evening’s chill.
I’d like to address
To the question, and yes
I will address it
Although first I will
Bring to your sense
The problems immense
That plague creativity
Such as lack of caffeine,
An unhealthy diet
(Though I’d urge you to try it),
And a sleep cycle deadly
To the health of one’s spleen.
These matters now raised
The establishment praised
Solutions that will not
These problems make right.
My plans will be different.
Now what was the question?
You don’t even remember.
With that said, good night!
Filed under Poems
Possible Political Folly = Guaranteed Comic Gold
So many nights I spent
Uninspired in my bed
Staring at the blinking cursor
With pages empty as my head.
The night after the election
So many topical jokes did flow
Which, hilarious as they might have been,
Of them the world can’t know.
A literal pot of gold
In my conciousness did lie
On the bright side much humor’s to come
Thanks to America’s choice. Bye bye!
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 