I once found it tough
To talk about stuff,
But then I went to college.
Now I regale ya
About paraphernalia
‘Cause now I’ve got the knowledge!
Tag Archives: Introverts
History Is Written By The Famous
Sleepy, Happy, Dopey, Sneezy
Bashful, Grumpy, and Dock
Mined all day to earn their pay
From 8:00 to 5:00 o’clock.
With seven salaries they paid
The rent for one small shack
And thought this was the status quo
Because the dwarves were black.
Then this white chick comes along
And they’re all like “Hi ho!”
Then she’s like, “OMG you guys,
“My name’s like totally Snow.”
And so she took their home away
And even ate their fruit
Before she slept for free a while
‘Cause hey, the chick was cute!
She slept upon the eighth dwarf’s bed
Who never was alerted.
So says the spurned, forgotten dwarf
Whose name is Introverted.
Filed under Poems
Party Like You Forgot To Take Your Meds And The Voices Are Coming Back!
Everyone is happy.
Everyone is having fun
Until the quiet loner guy
Pulls out his loaded gun.
Everyone is joyful.
Everyone joins in the dance
‘Til that one guy from accounting
Pulls a K-bar from his pants.
It’s at that point the happiness
On that crowded dancing floor
Gives way to massive panic
And a stampede for the door.
Now K-bar guy is happy
As is Steve (He’s got the gun)
Because the flat is empty now
And the small talk is all done.
Filed under Poems
Not Based On A True Story At All…
Here I am and in my prime,
No need for fear, no lack of time,
My IQ’s high, my flaws are few,
But there’s one foe I’ve yet to slew.
Somehow I feel my knees go weak
If, to a stranger, I must speak.
I can solve equations in my head
But not control the sense of dread
That spreads from pate to waist to toes
When I must speak to Jane or Rose.
I know Shakespeare, Austen, Keats,
But not wherefore my heart so beats.
Perhaps I’ve read too many tomes
To mix with non-y-chromosomes?
Filed under Poems
Passions and Priorities
What longings, cravings
Of the heart
Cannot be satisfied
By walking, strolling
‘Neath Springtime’s sun
With both eyes open wide?
What joys, what pleasures
Known to man
Cannot be thus attained?
For sunshine, brightness
Universally
Make life’s sweetness sustained.
The nymph’s, the angel’s
Coats are shed,
Replaced by skirts and skin.
Such heat, desire
In humid air
Invite the males in.
And men, Adonis
In their minds
Accept the season’s gifts.
Like thermals, doves
Nature collides.
Winter’s tyranny so lifts.
Neath cloudless, flawless
April skies
The hedonist may bloom.
But dark, but stuffy
Basement youth
Focus on playing “Doom.”
And wonders, magic,
Even heaven
Dance about for humankind,
But fragging! Headshots!
Despite marvels missed
We introverts don’t mind.
Filed under Poems
Now That’s Friendship!
If you like to stay at home
Though you’ve got nothing to do,
You’re thrilled when an appointment
Gets canceled out of the blue,
If reading makes you happy
And parties make you pout
Then you and I should be best friends
And never once hang out.
The Thinker’s Song
I do not idolize
Celebrities who sing,
Who make emotions at a camera
Or hold a bat and swing.
I don’t talk about religion,
Politics or TV,
Or the theory of evolution
(Unless it’s in the context of eevee).
You might think me quiet,
And most often you’re spot on,
But bring up something interesting
And I’ll go on and on.
So if you want to know what’s new,
Do not ask me “how are you?”
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 