Tag Archives: Vocabulary

There’s A Guy Who Gets His Ass Kicked In A Dark Alley

Sometimes I lie away at night

Wondering which fancy jackass

Invented the word “pretentious.”

If our positions should coincide

In an unlit walkway between buildings

I’d like to thrust a limb pertaining to my lower body

To the rear-side of the juncture connecting his counterparts of the aforementioned lower-body elements

Purely for hedonic gratification.

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Oops! I meant “Perfunctory.” Wait, No…

“Pusillanimous”

Was how I described my date.

I did not get laid.

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People Who Don’t Know What “Masticating” Means Are Going To Think This Poem Is Weirder Than It Actually Is

My hands are very cold

As I stand outside at night

Typing in this crummy poem

Because I just have too, all right?

Earlier I was occupied

With eating what I was masticating

But as I suffer in the moment

I regret procrastinating.

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To All The PhDs Enjoying a Sporting Event Today (Or On A Given Future Day, Circumstances Permitting)

I realize this day is special

For a contest will take place

In which genetically superior constituents

Will seek, in scoring, to outpace

Their counterparts in opposition

Within a time allotted,

Thus justifying the fiduciary endowments

With which said constituents are besotted.

I hope that in future contests

Of similar athletic variety

That your subgroup of physically-fit object-movers

May prove worthy of your them-focused piety.

In fact, I would extend my well wishes

That your team may excel in perpetuity

Until their superior members inevitably decay

And we may correct our lost-time incongruity.

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