There once was a man from Humptulips
Who worked in a restaurant for a few tips.
He made decent money
But mostly it’s just funny
That there’s an actual town called Humptulips.
Tag Archives: Lazy
True Love, 2022
Upon the sofa down we sat,
Eating ice cream, happy, fat,
Eyes on the TV, wearing no pants:
This is my ideal of romance!
Filed under Poems
Artistic Priorities
Today I was a DJ
At a wedding for my friends.
It was great, but tiring
And thus this poem ends.
Filed under Poems
Meta Stuff Is Cool Again, Right?
There once was a guy who drove home
And was tired from toes to his dome.
He wrote a lazy limerick
And rhymed it with slimmer dick
And this won’t get published in my next tome.
Filed under Poems
Seriously, When Was The Last Time You Went To The Movies And Enjoyed It?
Someone in Hollywood decided
“What if instead of crappy flicks
“We badly remade everything people love
“And when they complain, say that they’re dicks?”
Everyone outside Hollywood
Disliked this judgement call,
But on the bright side, now people
See that books aren’t that bad after all.
Filed under Poems
Your Math Teacher Warned You…
There once was a magical hero
Who divided the whole world by zero.
Trof huaknr jshfl ej
Helfpbe nfhoshe nej
Htppbej jfhw jfjr yeega beero.
Filed under Poems
The Weaker Poetry Bloggers, One Year Into The Apocalypse… #Weak
‘Twas on a night near end of Spring
When I was asked to write a thing
Describing how the flowers bloomed
Even though humanity’s doomed.
“Roses are red“, so started my verse
“And violets are blue, unlike that hearse.”
And then I decided since I’d end up dead
To quit writing poems and play golf instead.
So wrote a lesser poet just days
Before he was eaten by the undead horde.
When apocalypse comes, I’ll struggle in ways
But never complain that, when writing, I’m bored.
Filed under Poems
Last Night’s Bad Decisions Lead To… Not Exactly Redemption
Whenever a poem begins with “tonight”
You pretty much know it’s no good
So this morning I’m writing early
Because I figure I should.
The problem is autobiographical poems
Are also universally mediocre
So maybe instead of being a poet
I should take up professional poker?
Filed under Poems
Progress
When I write poems in the evening
They’re terrible, so today I said
“I’m going to write my poem first thing”
And now I’m bad in the morning instead!
Filed under Poems
Good Night Already!
Sometimes you do what you need to do;
Sometimes you do what you don’t.
Sometimes my thoughts will be deeper than this
But most of the time they won’t.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 