There once was a man from St. Mary
Who’d be merry to marry Merry Mary.
Merry Mary, however,
Did forthrightly endeavor
Never ever to wed one so hairy.
Tag Archives: Limerick
I wrote this at 8:00 AM
There once was an Airbnb
That played host to none other than me.
The wifi was slow.
Will this upload? I don’t snow…
I guess given time we will see.
Filed under Poems
Women Will Change You
There once was a man named Beyoncé
Who wanted to have a fiancee
But the girls were all like
“Why’s your name not like ‘Mike?’”
Now he goes by his middle name: Chauncey.
Filed under Poems
[Title Redacted]
There once was a poet-slash-spy
Who was quite the mysterious guy.
He’d write the last thing he’d think
In invisible ink
.
Filed under Poems
It’s A Joke About Thyme, But Alas, It Won’t Rhyme
There once was a guy from Scarborough
Who was fair, but not very thorough.
He made food, garnished sparsely
With sage, rosemary, and parsley
But alas, he didn’t take time enough.
Filed under Poems
No Problem Officer… I Handled It
There once was a spider in my room
That met a most violent doom.
Other spiders said “Yahoo!
“Let’s all go there too!”
And that’s why my shotgun went boom.
Filed under Poems
Moments Before You Realize Your Cosmic Impotence
The sky had a sun that was adorning
The sky at five a.m. in the morning.
It was bright and obnoxious
And for some reason I thought this:
“Go down now… this is your last warning.”
Filed under Poems
Watch Out
There once was a clock on a wrist
That one day became rather pissed.
It said “Time isn’t real,
“So how does that feel?”
Now it is for sale on Craigslist.
Filed under Poems
Confessions of a Former Spelling Bee Champion
There once was a guy named Kibau
Who lived on a farm with a plough.
He once swore a vow
Never once to say “Ciao”
And you get the point: Spelling is stupid.
Filed under Poems
Frustration is the Catalyst of Many Verbal Quirks
There once was an eloquent person
Whose mental state started to worsen.
The person was me
As you damn well can see
And that’s why I’m just f***ing cursin’.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 