May I compare thee
To a big slab of meat:
Not too tricky to buy,
Satisfying to eat.
…Apparently not!
Tag Archives: Love
Dilemmas Of Modern Romance… Yet Another True Story
As a person young
In age and heart
The search for love is,
In my life, a part.
But amidst all the boasting,
The flirting, the pink
There come candid answers
That force you to think:
Filed under Poems
Passions and Priorities
What longings, cravings
Of the heart
Cannot be satisfied
By walking, strolling
‘Neath Springtime’s sun
With both eyes open wide?
What joys, what pleasures
Known to man
Cannot be thus attained?
For sunshine, brightness
Universally
Make life’s sweetness sustained.
The nymph’s, the angel’s
Coats are shed,
Replaced by skirts and skin.
Such heat, desire
In humid air
Invite the males in.
And men, Adonis
In their minds
Accept the season’s gifts.
Like thermals, doves
Nature collides.
Winter’s tyranny so lifts.
Neath cloudless, flawless
April skies
The hedonist may bloom.
But dark, but stuffy
Basement youth
Focus on playing “Doom.”
And wonders, magic,
Even heaven
Dance about for humankind,
But fragging! Headshots!
Despite marvels missed
We introverts don’t mind.
Filed under Poems
It Sounded Better In My Head
Here eyes were like flowers
In April’s sweet bloom,
Like a tropical bird
Viewed through 8x digital zoom,
Like tiny galaxies
Filled by the purest of bliss.
This was a chance
Which I just couldn’t miss.
And so I approached her,
Her eyes locked with mine.
I said “Hi! I’m David.”
She said “I’m Caroline.”
I said “your eyes are wondrous.
“They belong in a museum!”
My court date’s this Friday
If you want to come see ’em.
Filed under Poems
When You Have The Heart Of A Lion But She Has The Sensibilities Of A Homo Sapien
We met online at 12:00 AM
And bonded over cats.
We bared our souls with smileys
And confirmed the predictions of anonymous stats.
We texted back and forth a bit
Before we met in real life.
You thought I was kinda cute.
I knew you’d be my wife.
But as the days and weeks went by
Our love was less smooth than I was hopin’.
You kept some of the gifts I sent you
But the boxes of dead rodents, you didn’t open!
So now I’m naked, watching Louie
On Amazon TV
Regretting how your heart did not
Know how much that cat-bonding meant to me.
Filed under Poems
Just An Older, Superterranean Type Of Lady
It seems every woman I meet
Is a gold digger of sorts,
Or else too young to engage
As romantically-inclined cohorts.
I’m not the sort of man who’s oft
Accused or called a whiner
But for once I want to meet a gal
Who’s not a miner or a minor.
Filed under Poems
Reel Me In Baby
When I’m with you
The sun shines brighter,
The water’s warmer,
My body’s lighter.
When I’m with you
I am flavorful, raw.
I just wish you’d get rid of
This hook in my jaw!
Filed under Poems
Unforgettable Love
Tick tock!
I see her walk
Down main street USA.
The passing time…
Her smile’s bright shine…
I hardly notice the gloomy day.
Tick tock!
I see her stop
And watch her turn my way.
Time feels so slow.
I’ve no place to go.
So glad I’ve got all day!
Hours, minutes,
Days and weeks;
The world is timeless
When she speaks.
Her endless sunset
Lights my life.
What on Earth
Will I tell my wife?
Tick tock!
I see her socks.
They look a lot like mine.
Her lovely face…
Her classic grace…
The way she says “I’m fine…”
Tick tock!
Again she talks.
She calls my secret name.
It dawns on me
And soon I see…
Oh my God, how lame!
Hours, minutes,
Days and weeks;
The world is timeless
When she speaks.
Her endless sunset
Lights my life.
Just realized…
She is my wife!
That Look In Your Eyes When We Make Love
Your breath on my skin
Like a warm summer breeze.
You pull of your shirt
And my throat starts to squeeze.
I gaze at your torso…
Oh God, I need to sneeze!
Though my face is contorted
I beg of you, please
Know that you don’t disgust me
‘Xcept maybe your knees…
Filed under Poems
My Last Words As An Employed Relationship Counselor
“Every single woman
Who is single seems to be
Either fat, a slut, a robot,
Or living far away from me.
I may be exaggerating,
My standards set too high,
But I’m getting sick of looking
And I cannot tell a lie.”
Hear ye, frustrated seeker
Of a love that doesn’t suck:
Your whining has been heard
And it turns out you’re in luck!
A new app’s been developed
You can download on your phone
That can take your DNA
And produce your romantic clone.
“Responder to my whining…
The problem is, you see,
That my standards are so high
That I’m not good enough for me.”
Whiny loveless seeker…
The nail’s head’s been hit.
If you’re sure no one will ever be
A truly perfect fit
Then go and buy a puppy
Or a dolphin or a snake
So your next of kin gets something
After you drown yourself in a lake.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 