Today I saw one per cent milk
And so I gave my mom a holler.
Turns it it’s just crappy milk,
Not 100 milks for a dollar.
Tag Archives: Math
58008 is the new 90210
More men than women study math,
Professionally at least.
This is true from North to South
And also West to East.
It’s not because women are dumb
Or men like math by fate…
It’s that all boys love what happens
When you invert 7,251×8.
Filed under Poems
$ = q * ($/q)
I went to the science store
To buy subatomic particles.
It’s something I discovered
Reading “Modern Physics” articles.
They sold protons and electrons in
Small, medium, and large
But they just gave away the neutrons
Completely free of charge.
Bonus humor if you can prove how the title is fallacious.
Filed under Poems
Schroedinger Goes Golfing
He went out with a ball and club
To tee off on the green
And defined the ball’s trajectory
To a destination unseen.
To warn the other players
Who are simultaneously alive and dead
He shouted the number 24
To avoid whacking a head.
Why he did this most don’t know
But I can tell you why:
The golfer simply shouted 4!
You’re welcome nerds. Now bye!
Filed under Poems
But If It Were Traveling At 4 Miles Per Hour For 12 Minutes How Far Apart Were The Hay Bales?
Once there was some type of snake,
A cobra, asp, or adder.
Since the story’s fictional
It really doesn’t matter.
This adder, I’ve decided,
Was in a farm one day
Sliding its limbless body
Between two bales of hay.
The snake was not observant
And it failed to look both ways.
‘Twas run over by the farmer.
And thus ended its days.
So when the adder rendez-voused
With its rural malefactor
We can say the adder
Suddenly became sub-tractor.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 