Pooping is great!
Pooping is fun!
Just sit on the toulet
And ploop! You’re all done!
Or if you are male
And/or have a phone
Pooping can give you
An hour alone!
Tag Archives: Men
Formative Experiences
When the film’s PG-13
But there are boobies on the screen
You rule the world as but a teen…
‘Cause the script demanded it, know what I mean?
Filed under Poems
The Male Experience (Based On A True Story)
I had an appointment at noon today
So, at 9:00, I took a ten-minute shower,
Then I sat down down to play card games
For about a half an hour.
After I was finished
With my 40 minutes of dun
The universe said, “It’s 3:00 O’clock
“And also you should go buy a gun.”
Filed under Poems
Manly Thoughts
We’ve marketed bottles water
And, in some places, fresh air.
I think next we should bottle sleep
(If the marketing people care).
Just twist the child-proof yellow cap
And chug an hour of rest.
Sure, we have caffeine for that
But caffeine’s not the best.
Instead, just but some shuteye
Or even forty winks
And feel refreshed much quicker
And save your bed for kinks.
I’m not sure how you’d do it
But I’m quite sure that we should.
But now I’ll sleep for free again
And pray for morning wood.
Filed under Poems
Tube Go Whoosh!
I got a cool sword for Christmas
But the idiot at the store
Wrapped it in 100 feet of wrapping paper
And I cannot fathom what for.
Filed under Poems
Helping In The Kitchen
If you make some lemon chiffon
Then add escargot and dijon
Then turn up the mixer
You make an elixir
That makes wife cook all meals from now on.
Filed under Poems
Happy International Men’s Day!
House all to myself.
There’s a lot of stuff to do
Like nap on the couch.
Filed under Poems
A Real Man’s Christmas Wishlist
Triumph over evil
Victory in battle
A wife and seven children
Some land to herd my cattle
A fancy leather cowboy hat
A closet full of guns
A quiet place to rest my head
And lots of silly puns.
Filed under Poems
Preamble to a Night on the Couch
I’m not lying. I’m just saying
That you appear as if you’re weighing
More than your real weight suggests…
Ok, you do look fat in that dress.
Filed under Poems
Sincerely, Guys
Event people nationwide
I humbly implore you:
If you have a craft fair
You should have a gun show too
So mom can get a crocheted scarf
And dad a .22
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 