I am a goose
I like to honk
I am a goose
I like to honk
I am a goose
I like to honk honk honk
I am a mom
I want to die
Tag Archives: Music
Classical Music
You’re here to see a concert
And the first piece we will play
Is the thanking of the sponsors,
For although you had to pay
A decent sum of money
To come see our group perform
Without our corporate overlords
We’d not be able to form.
Thank you to the money guys
Who like this older stuff.
Now please prepare to give a hand
For another half an hour of fluff…
Filed under Poems
Genre-Dependent
Music is the universal language.
It can communicate to anyone at all
Things like “I have bad taste in music”
And “Girl, hop in! We’re going to the mall!”
Filed under Poems
And With That, The Silence Ended
Tomorrow is Christmas eve
And today’s the 16th day of Chanukah.
I am six years old today
And you bought me a harmonica!
Filed under Poems
Mrs. Snyder Was Right
I know I shouldn’t have walked alone
Through the parking garage at night,
Especially when it’s very dark
And I am very white.
Some hoodlums did assail me
And called “Hands in the air!”
But I did not not obey them
And instead without a care
Reached deep inside my jacket
Where I keep my alto recorder
And I played the G Major scale
To restore the law and order.
And so the hoodlums left me
And I drove home just fine.
That’s why you pay attention in school.
Now what’s the log (base ten) of nine?
Filed under Poems
A Winter’s Tune
When your heart calls to its pair
Through the rime of Winter’s air
Be sure it’s cry is strong and true
So its twin may sing to you.
But should your heart’s dear, after pause,
Sing “I saw mommy kissing Santa Clause”
You may be wise to weave and sway
Then run like Hell the other way.
Filed under Poems
Stay
You’ve gotta go
To go see a show
That a small town like me can’t provide.
You’ve dreamed of a start
That’s a lifetime apart
From how I make you feel inside.
Your castle awaits
Where a panel of fates
Wants to hear of your fall fashion line.
I’ll help with your coat
And row over the moat
All while insisting I’m fine.
When you came along
And we started our song
We both knew one day it would end.
I dreamed of five-one
But you dreamed of more fun
So I tell people you’re just a friend.
I hope your sunsets
Are as good as it gets
And your kingdom will kneel and bow
While at the same time
It feels like a crime
That I want to say “stay” anyhow.
Filed under Poems
It’s Like “Plop” And I Just Met My Weight-Loss Goal
Sure, falling in love is satisfying
But have you ever had a poop where you thought
Everything in life was good again?
Apparently the music business has not.
Filed under Poems
The Rhythm Of Universal Truth
No matter the size of our brains
Or the density of our bums
All humans are united in knowing
That buttocks can double as bongo drums.
Filed under Poems
The Day God Made Africa?
And on the twenty-second day
God said “Let 99 men moisten the grass
“And the hundredth man you shall eschew”.
Even then it was widely known
That one hundred men or more
Could never dew.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 