If wishes were horses
What would you do?
Probably get trampled
But never run out of glue.
Tag Archives: poems
I May Not Have Money, But I Have A Weird Imagination
I wish I had a yttrium-plated snow globe.
A yttrium-plated globe would make me smile
Because I’d have something no billionaire has
At least for a brief and satisfying while.
Filed under Poems
You’re Used To It By Now
5:00 AM alarm
Set for wake up tomorrow
Thus, it’s haiku night!
Filed under Poems
New York City, 2026
Somewhere, in an all-gender bathroom,
The attack helicopters hover
At opposite ends of the row of urinals
Not speaking to each other
But grateful that the war is over.
I stand between them,
Pretending that I’m peeing.
In a nearby stall
The aardvarks howl.
Filed under Poems
Travel Plans
Flying tuna can
Crammed with average human beings.
Twice delayed so far.
Filed under Poems
Read That Last Word With Four Syllables To Make Me Seem Smarter
When you are a poetic bard
Having a social life is hard
Because you may be out at night
But need to do a daily write.
Hypothetical as this may sound
This is where I, this night, am found.
When you read other brief poems by me
Know that I’m healthy socially.
Filed under Poems
Preamble to a Night on the Couch
I’m not lying. I’m just saying
That you appear as if you’re weighing
More than your real weight suggests…
Ok, you do look fat in that dress.
Filed under Poems
Another Inconvenient Truth
If you’re struggling in your career
Give Hollywood a call
Because there’s no script for a 67 movie yet
And they’ll take anything at all.
Filed under Poems
Book Review: A Dark And Horny Knight
It’s about this guy who’s a demon
With virile and plentiful… oh lord.
I tried dear, I swear
But I really don’t dare
To review the books that have you screamin’.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 