Remember Mandy the stripper?
The one who showed you her rear
Before she leaned in close to you
And whispered in your ear,
“You’re the one I’m dancing for,”
So you slip her 20 bucks?
That’s basically how the government works
And why I say it sucks.
Tag Archives: Politics
How The Second American Civil War Began?
There once was a Cheeto named Don
Whose power was soon to be gone.
At first he was miffed
But then Joe scratched and sniffed
So Don sighed and just said, “Carry on.”
Filed under Poems
Dear Conspiracy Theorists…
Some people believe
That our world will be conquered
By satanic lizards from Mars.
To those folks I say,
“Don’t be scared… it’s okay.
“Their rulers are better than ours!”
Filed under Poems
Only The Bullies and the Barefaced Have Been Seen In Public…
There once was somebody’s spouse
Who put on a burgundy blouse.
She said, “Some folks will ask
“Kindly ‘Please wear a mask?'”
But those folks never leave their house…
Filed under Poems
For Those Who Missed The Metaphor, The Dragon Is Poverty
The dragon was coming
To Farawayshire
To eat many virgins
And breathe lots of fire.
The lord of the town said
“‘Fraid of dragons we aint,
“For I have procured us
“A fireproof paint!”
And so people painted
The roofs and the walls
Or the houses and stables
And castles and malls
Until the Lord said
With the smallest of sneezes,
“Cease painting at once
“For it causes diseases.”
The paint, it so happened
Did cause minor distress
To persons named Remington,
Fleischmann, and Hess.
Those with such names
Of course caused quite a fuss
While the rest of the town
Wondered, “What about us?
“The dragon is coming!
“How will we survive?
“Sure, a few will be sickened
“But we’ll be alive!”
The mayor just laughed
And he said with a tsk…
“What’s a few teeth and fire
“When our health is at risk?”
And, for some reason, this
Made the citizens calm
And await coming dragons
With nary a qualm.
Filed under Poems
If America Were A Game
Hey there Trump
And hey there Biden!
Joe will be seekin’
And Don will be hidin’.
Don tuns away
And Joe starts to count…
“One, two, three-hundred-thousand
“Or something… an amount.
“Ready or not,
“Here I come.”
OMG, Don’s not hidden…
He must be dumb.
Filed under Poems
A Bit of Hot Air
I used a hand dryer
In the public restroom
After I went to the beach.
I expected it
To dry my hands,
But it delivered a political speech.
Filed under Poems
Happy Election Day!
Today, America extends a query
To test the ever-popular theory
And forever end the debate
About whether love is stronger than hate.
We’re given two men with no virtues to note
And told it’s important to go out and vote.
One choice is to vote that you love Barron’s dad,
Or else just to vote that you think “Orange Man Bad.”
As for the white guy who’ll earn half the votes
Who creeps people out and has quotable quotes…
One guy will win, half the nation will cry,
And celebrities still won’t move to Canada… sigh.
Filed under Poems
And Yet We Keep Voting For Them…
Politicians are like a bag of chips
That appear to be mostly air
But then they take the chips away
And say “You’re healthy now. See? I care!”
Filed under Poems
Democracy… Please?
I think a million-dollar income
Is an inalienable right
For everyone within an inch
Of six-foot-O in height,
And that all of those people
Should be worshipped as Gods
And based on modern politics
Such a change has decent odds…
