I was born into a social contract.
I didn’t choose it for myself.
It says that I must obey laws
And I can never be an elf.
It includes some pretty lousy clauses
Like “you cannot gramatically refer to yourself in the first person as ‘me'”
And “poems should have meter.”
That’s why I quit to play an RPG.
Filed under Poems
Sometimes in our sweet world
Hell freezes over
And you find no joy in puppies
And no luck in a four-leaf clover.
But other times our sweet world
Goes to the regular fiery Hell
And we shed our layers and get a tan
And enjoy it pretty well.
So if you’re doomed to misery
Throughout all your days
You may as well enjoy it
And smile anyways.
And if not you can leave a sarcastic comment for a preachy poet. 🙂
Filed under Poems
Judging by response
Of yesterdays rhyming junk
You folks not fans of grammar.
This poem be good then, so me did thunk.
Us will judge by them responses
Whether stuff like this be fine.
And if you dont not dislike it
Please feel free to whine.
Filed under Poems
Circum is a prefix
Whose presence does effect
In many ways its second part,
For instance: Circumspect.
If Circum is added to
A position in a dance
You will find that you have made
A unique circumstance.
If instead you circum
A trip to another state
You might be delighted
That you can circumnavigate.
There are circum words
That most people can’t define
Like circumference and circumscribe
And circumquasiredefine.
But there’s a word that to circum
Would not be very wise.
You may have guessed by now
That that word, of course, is “size.”
Filed under Poems
The squeaky wheel gets the grease:
If we know this is real
Then I can logically conclude
My hair is a squeaky wheel.
Filed under Poems
What a day!
May 25!
Let’s celebrate that
You’re still alive!
Some years were good,
Some years were tough,
But we celebrate them all
By buying you stuff!
The folks you know
Will email and call
And write well wishes
On your Facebook wall.
And then at the end
You’ll be delighted to see
This snazzy poem
To you from me.
Filed under Poems
Life is an event
That happens to us all.
Some lives end in greatness
While others are extras
In a George Lucas story.
As for me…
I’m a rebel poet,
The greatest George Lucas extra
Who ever got too tired to rhyme.
You only get one life to take for granted;
Don’t waste the opportunity.
Filed under Poems
He knows that she knows
That I know that he knows
That I think I know
That she thinks he knows me.
If you didn’t quite get that
Then know that I think
That you and I know
To avoid mysteries.
Filed under Poems
This blog of ours has followers
That number 699.
If we can get to 700
That would be so mighty fine
‘Cause if we reach 700
Then a thousand’s pretty close
And that’s a number to be proud of
Whether it is net or gross.
And when we hit a thousand
Followers of this page
Then why not get a thousand more
And make these poems all the rage
And all the poetic hipsters
Can say “I followed it first!”
And by then we’ll have ten thousand
And I’ll be proud enough to burst.
Given time we’ll pass the thousands
And we will be one million strong
And you, follower 700
Will have been there all along.
And if you aren’t convinced yet
By this hypothetical boast
At 700 my parents will love me
And that’s what means the most.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 