After my boss said “You’re fired”
I bought the Harley I’d always admired
But without my car
I don’t travel too far.
I think it’s because I’m two-tired.
Tag Archives: Puns
Harrr Harrr Harrr…
I found myself marooned
Off the coast of Kansas (somehow)
And saw another pirate was near.
He was selling corn
So I asked about the price.
He said “You’ll only pay a buccaneer.”
Filed under Poems
A Pun Not Worth It’s Setup
I jumped in a pool
And grabbed a flotation device,
But that floating noodle
Turned out to be lead.
I don’t know
How it managed to fool me
But, thanks to that impasta
Now I am dead.
Filed under Poems
Also, Just Kinda Gross
They asked me to hold up
Fermented canola, you see.
I refused the order…
Sounds like supporting rapeseed culture to me.
Filed under Poems
Concrete Washington: Folk Hero (Or Just Denzel’s Brother)
Indiana Jones was a big success
(Until 2008).
You have to wonder if similar names
Would enjoy a similar fate
Like Alaska Round, detective
Or Iowa Guysummoney?
Idaho Youhadhertoo?
Would people find these funny?
Kansas state thing be abused
Or must we resort to towns
Like Helena -West Helena Johnson
Or, better yet, Cleveland Brown?
Filed under Poems
Peasant Problems
They told me to lift dumbbells
‘Cause my arms were far too thin.
I couldn’t check if they were right
‘Cause Congress wouldn’t let me in.
Filed under Poems
A Spartan Limerick
Imagine that after a battle
You found an Athenian child with the cattle…
The adopter would be thanked
But if the kid couldn’t be spanked
The adopters are up a Greek without a paddle.
Filed under Poems
Is The Red Meat Yellow?
If you ever meet a cannibal
And it wants to eat your flesh
And you want to look less finger-lickin’ good
Then scream and cry and wail
‘Cause cannibals don’t like
The taste of chicken. Are we understood?
Filed under Poems
The Fact That I Think This Is Hilarious Is Also Hilarious… Or Is That Just Me?
If I were Chinese and Italian
My name would be Ho D’Addario.
I’d feel happy in my rural home
(But probably concealed carry though).
And one day I would know
My life was going well
When folks’d say “Hi Ho D’Addario!
“The farmer’s in the dell!”
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 