If you want a large-beaked bird
A pelican will do.
If you want a big-beaked philosopher
Then Peli Kant’s for you.
If you want a big-beaked marsupial
Try pelikangaroo.
If you want other big-beaked puns…
You guessed it: Pelican-do.
Tag Archives: Puns
Oh Sheet…
I started a band where we’d play
Stuff other folks played first. OK?
Then I did discover
Such a band’s called a Cover,
And thus I named our band “Duvet.”
Filed under Poems
Just Peachy
I saw a gal I thought was cute
So I asked her thoughts on pitted fruit.
She said she thought plums were great
So I asked “How ’bout a date?”
Filed under Poems
When Nerds Die
While I was at a funeral
I had to share a thought.
I stood and shouted “Plethora!”
They said “Thanks. That means a lot.”
Filed under Poems
I Got Game?
My sex life is like a game of bridge,
And I don’t mean bland:
I don’t need a partner
‘Cause I have an awesome hand.
Filed under Poems
Want Some Drink With Dose Fries?
The french-fried potatoes
That I bought from Wendy’s
Are covered in tattoos
And wear pants around their knees,
They complain about white privilege
And say “sup” instead of “hey.”
That’s when I remembered
That today is black fry day.
Bye Bye Wings
A fly was buzzing around my head.
It drove me up the wall!
I took away its Red Bull
And now it’s just a crawl.
Filed under Poems
…The Bass, That Is
My DJ name is “Other Shoe.”
I’m the cream of the DJ crop.
No matter what other DJs do
They wait for “Other Shoe” to drop…
Filed under Poems
Poem: Bad, Pun: Also Bad
We who play accordions
Know the Native Americans want us
Because they want to have a kid
And name it Polkahontas.
Filed under Poems
Me Too/Two/To
After my boss said “You’re fired”
I bought the Harley I’d always admired
But without my car
I don’t travel too far.
I think it’s because I’m two-tired.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 