Born a nymph in the woods of Montana,
My life is lovely, brighter than a
Tag Archives: Short
Perspective
My friend says it’s stressful
Trying to stay on track,
Keeping up with work and play
And texting everyone back…
And here I am, still in bed
At 2:35,
Unemployed, without friends,
Feeling happy to be alive!
Filed under Poems
It Could Always Be Worse…
My mom was a pterodactyl
And my dad was an asparagus;
This is not true at all,
But maybe your life now seems less a mess?
Filed under Poems
Do I *Detect* A Garment That Doesn’t Fit… That’s Unsuitable
Geico has a gecko,
Aflac has a duck,
But my insurance company
Has no such mascot luck,
So instead of selling policies
I’ll be a stock-market trader
With a well-dressed crocodile mascot
Called the Investi-Gator.
Filed under Poems
Also… It’s 7:56
If this were a job
It might get me fired
But this poem’s crap
‘Cause it’s late and I’m tired.
Filed under Poems
Bird Flu
I found what I thought was a condor
That was terribly sick with the flu.
But my asian vet said, “That’s ill eagle”
And now I don’t know what to do…
Filed under Poems
The Debate Is Over
Childbirth is painful for women
And ball-kickage is painful for men
But after it’s done only one
Waits teo years, then says “Do it again!”
Filed under Poems
Golf
Little ball of plastic
I hit into a hole:
It takes me many tries
To once achieve my goal.
I then repeat the process
Seventeen more times.
This sport is very stupid
But hey, the poem rhymes!
Filed under Poems
Sometime In The 1800’s Maybe?
Once upon a time
A guy tried something new
For no reason besides
To see what stuff would do.
Afterwards he used
What he found as an appliance
And thus was born the toaster
And, with it, modern science.
Last Save: 7:59 Am -Pompeii, 79 AD…
This is the point in history
Where things aren’t going well,
But you aren’t very worried yet
Because you know a spell
That opens up a menu
Where you reload your latest save
And go back to start on easy mode
Instead of to your grave.
Filed under Poems
