There once was a man from Saigon
Who needed to mow his lawn.
He saw someone wan
And asked “Genghis Khan?”
But it was just his neighbor, Sean.
Tag Archives: Short
Nursing Home Rhymes
I’ve got dandruff on my shins…
That’s not where it goes!
Know I need some Head and Shoulders
For between my knees and toes.
——————————————————–
To get 8 hours of sleep at night
I do whatever it takes,
By which I mean taking 10-minute naps
Between my bathroom breaks.
——————————————————–
Twinkle twinkle little star
Way above my little car,
Shining in my optic nerve
Making me violently swerve.
Twinkle twinkle little star
On the badge of officer Barr.
I sang him “YMCA.”
Why’d he take my license away?
Twinkle twinkle little star…
Crap, I left my teeth in the car!
Filed under Poems
This Is Why Blueberry And Strawberry Yogurt Are Popular
Men want to talk about grape yogurt.
Women want to talk about patriarchy.
Men like talking about grape culture.
Feminists dislike the letter “G.”
Filed under Poems
Does This Dress Make Me Look Fat?
Roses are red,
Violets are blue.
That dress is fine
For cosplaying Shamu.
Filed under Poems
Close Calls and My Unintentional Confession That I’m A Wimp Who Doesn’t Know What “Staying Up Late” Means
Some days I stay up too late…
Like right now. (It’s 11:38)
Thanks to my late bedtimes
I’ve kept up with daily rhymes
And not yet inspired your hate.
Filed under Poems
He’s Asian, So He’ll Probably Send Me $6
When the Coronavirus began
I sent my buddy a letter:
“Bet you five bucks this is the new plague
“Because asians do everything better.”
Filed under Poems
She Had A Babyface… He Was One
When you think of rings you think “wedding,”
And you think that a heel is a shoe.
When I think of rings my mind goes to wrestling
And a heel is the guy people boo.
You think that dropkicking somebody is crazy
And I think it’s living the life
And that, my dear lady, is just one of the reasons
You won’t be this wrestler’s wife!
Filed under Poems
Social Media
I think there are two types of folks.
Let’s see if you agree:
1: People who are literally Hitler
2: People who think just like me
Filed under Poems
Florida Man Goes Traveling
“Peculiar” is the word she used
Which made me just a bit confused.
What’s in any way peculiar about a guy
Who likes to eat burgers for lunch
With a glass of fruity punch
And, for dessert, has a slice of gator pie?
Filed under Poems
