There once were two boys from Descartes
Who possessed pure and beautiful hearts
Until one rainy day
In a childish way
They learned how to bottle their farts…
Tag Archives: Short
And Most Artists Are Good At It…
Part of making art
Is having sincere belief
That your crap is gold.
Filed under Poems
When You Have To Do More Than One Creative Thing In A Day
There once was a D&D game
Hosted by this poet, the same.
It ended quite late
With most epic of fates
But as consequence this poem is lame.
Filed under Poems
Patty > Bun, etc.
Pizza’s pretty yummy
And hot dogs taste real nice
But I can do without the carbs
And even sans the spice.
Instead of all that bready stuff
What I really want to eat
Is meat covered in melted cheese
Then covered in even more meat!
Filed under Poems
On The Bright Side, My Nickname Is “Hips” Now
Sometimes all it takes
To make somebody’s day
Is to flash a cheerful smile
And whisper “Hip hip hooray!”
I tried it out this afternoon
And the data that I got was this:
Prison is not a good place to test
A cheerfulness hypothesis.
Filed under Poems
Or Am I Just Forgetful?
Today it is early.
Last night it was late.
Does my lack of a poem
Mean I had a good date?
Filed under Poems
Son Of God, Father Of Refreshing Beverages?
They say Jesus turned water into wine
But there’s an alternative guess I see:
I think Jesus was the inventor of Kool-Aid
But hadn’t perfected the recipe.
Filed under Poems
In Retrospect, Childhood Had Its Perks
I have to go to bed soon
And wake up before quarter-to-noon
And then drive my car
And not get a gold star
And I can’t even watch a cartoon!
Filed under Poems
The Bar Is Low
As she slid the dollar bill
Between my boxers and my abs
I came to the conclusion
Grandma shouldn’t have opened a tab.
The Best Revenge Is A Fifth Grade Band Student
Blow ye trumpet!
Blow yer horn
From sunset ‘til
Tomorrow morn’.
Bugle brightly
As if in labor
For I’m out of town
And I hate my neighbors!
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 