When life gives you lemons
You can politely decline,
Explaining “No thanks, I don’t like lemons”
And life will be like “Fine.”
Tag Archives: Short
Intermittent Fasting
Marketing has accomplished
Another monumental feat:
I see people saying “Pay us
“And in return, don’t eat.”
Filed under Poems
Are They Still Striking? I Hope So…
There once was a Hollywood guy
Who pretended to be an AI.
He wrote a great script
And the writer’s guild flipped.
If all films feel the same now, that’s why.
Filed under Poems
Never Gonna Give You Up
I left an item in a shopping cart
Seven years ago.
I still get advertisements to this day.
I wish I were so smart
That I could only know
How to make my hairline work that way.
Filed under Poems
Unhelpful Knowledge 101
Anyone who complains about math
Because they’ll never use it in real life
Has never memorized the periodic table
Or heard about saying “No” to your wife.
Filed under Poems
When You Have A Daily Blog And Need A Day Off… The To-Do List
Drive to Canada
To see a show with my Mom
And write this haiku
Filed under Poems
Why Robots Won’t Replace Men
No amount of flattery
Can restore an empty battery
But a little flirting can
Reenergize almost any man.
Filed under Poems
I Asked My Fiance To Write The Odd-Numbered Lines And I’d Handle The Rhyming…
Fan.
Man.
TV.
Stevie.
Watch.
Crotch.
Orange.
Yeah… this is what I signed up for
Filed under Poems
Sort Of An Umbrella Poem About… Well, You Get It
Sometimes a banana is just a banana
And a tree is just a big, stiff, and girthy
And if you don’t know how torpedos fit in
Then your mind has yet to become worthy.
Filed under Poems
That Would Probably Bug Him
I think when the Buddha slept
He gave thanks for having grand wits
And also that no one referred to him
As Mr. Praying Man-Tits.
Filed under Poems
