Why did the [subject]
[action in past-tense]?
Because [satisfying irony],
But that’s just my two cents.
Tag Archives: Silly
Alas, I Have Succumbed
I broke a lifelong promise
And I signed up for Twitter.
I did it without fireworks
And very little glitter.
I probably won’t post too much
But you never know.
May as well go follow me
To read the end of this po…
David Kappele @Daily_Travesty
Filed under Poems
Maybe I Should Quit Looking Online
My perfect girl is tallish,
Between 4’6″ and 6’11”.
She’s morally relatable,
Bound for either Hell or Heaven.
My perfect girl has two eyeballs,
Or maybe one or three.
They could be green or blue or brown
Or red. It’s all good for me.
My perfect girl has some fingers
And a near-equal number of toes.
I’m sorry that I have to be picky
But she must have fewer than two torsoes.
My perfect girl comes in all shapes
Yet all I seem to find
Are the 7’0″ five-yellow-eyed, limbo-bound, poly-torsoed
Asymnetrically-finger/toed kind.
Expect Many More Of These :-)
Some days I write a poem
That’s actually very good,
The day after which I struggle
To write something equally good
But then I rhyme a word with itself
And it goes off the rails from there
And I realize no matter what I do
It’s not going to be as good
So I relax and quit trying.
Filed under Poems
Thou Art Too Cruel
Perhaps thou art a hero
Or perhaps a simply thief,
A knight in shining armor
Or a bit of comic relief?
Or maybe thou art a villain,
An evil mastermind
Who prays on innocent people
Instead of being kind?
It seems I am mistaken
About the character of your heart.
You’re just a man who laughs
At poets that say “thou art.”
Filed under Poems
A Toothache, A Pun, A Confession
Might a very good dentist
Be given a plaque
And to avoid getting fired
Have to give it back?
This evening I find
My mind is so blank
That’s my most poignant thought.
For your patience I thank.
Filed under Poems
Akin to Areas Without Allstate Coverage
I once sold tires for Goodyear
But my sales hit a kink.
We had a bad year at Goodyear.
Now I don’t know what to think.
Filed under Poems
Missing My Step, Son
I’m just walking,
Nothing special going on,
When I realize suddenly
That you’re absent, gone.
My sudden epiphany
Hits me right in the spine,
So I said “watch out for the drop”
To the next guy in line.
Filed under Poems
Give The Dog A Bone?
My town was in the news today
For a reason that isn’t nice.
A man was hired to kill another
Amidst a field of rice.
The way he committed the murder
Showed his creativity had no lack.
His weapon was a ceramic statue.
‘Twas a knick-knack paddy whack.
Filed under Poems
Robots of the Night
We’ve got robots to drive us,
To serve us, to vacuum,
To search the web, to save us
From our eventual fiery doom.
One robot no one’s thought of
That would really do a lot
Is a robot to replace the toilet paper roll.
Until then to the cupboard we’ll walk/squat.
Filed under Poems
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