There was like a guy from like somewhere
Who like liked like things like like long hair.
He like like-liked this girl
Whose hair had like a curl
And he was like “I like like-like you. So there.”
Tag Archives: Silly
In Retrospect, The End Result Is The Same
Since democracy is suspect now
I’d like to propose a solution
That could make our governments honest
If we ensure proper execution:
Everyone who wants something to change
Writes down their ideas. Then next
They go in a pit with a cheetah or two
And whoever lasts longest we elect.
On the bright side, the number of lawyers will drop
And less people will share their dumb thoughts;
On the other hand, cheetahs don’t like to eat metal
So we’d end up all governed by bots…
Filed under Poems
Sorry Mom!
Yesterday I launched a book.
My mother went to take a look.
She clicked on the link I left
And found herself feeling bereft.
Turns out the link I left was lame
And I’m the only one to blame.
Try this link instead! I hope
That this time I am not a dope.
If Only My Hat Could Use Google Images…
I entered an area
Where hard hats were required.
Now I need to find a hot female hat
Or I just might get fired.
Filed under Poems
Two Celebrity Poems (Add Your Own In The Comments)
I have a male cat
Who holds grudges and is sweaty.
I am happy that
I’m the owner of Tom Petty.
—————————————————————
I’m an unemployed metalworker
And I start my resumé with
“I’ll slap hot things for money”
Then sign my name: Will Smith
Filed under Poems
My Inner Child Is Sitting Down, But All The Other Inner Children Are Standing Up And Moving
Sammeeches are yummiyums
And cheekens good in bellies
And I like grapes and appleswoss
And chocolate-caramellies.
I can eat twenty tootsie rollups
And an asparagoos stawck as well.
I’m a master of munching and yummiyums
But not twalking or nowing how to spell.
Filed under Poems
Word Choice Matters
Tonight my pipes were in trouble
Because they’d broken the law.
The cops spotted their getaway
And shouted “There! Haha”
And then the cops made a booboo
As they called to the pipes in the night:
They shouted “Freeze!” and now
There’s no water to shower tonight.
Filed under Poems
Lycanthropyness (Other Spellings Acceptable)
I’m basically a werewolf
But instead of being transformy
When the full moon rises
I get very horny.
The other difference
Between a werewolf and my ways
Is that I’m also were-horny
The other 28 days.
Filed under Poems
When Your 12-Year-Old Tells A Dirty Joke
A missionary and his doggy
Went to town via 69th street.
This poem would be longer
But I don’t know grownup sheet.
White People Be Rappin’ Like
If I had a hippo
You wouldn’t gimme no lip, yo.
But I’ve got an elephant
And you’re just like “omg, can’t.”
So I just bought a rat,
So have fun with that
As I pull out my gator
And say “see ya later.”
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 