Today I learned it’s
National limerick day.
I’m contrarian.
Tag Archives: Silly
Survivorship Bias
I want National Geographic
To offer a promotion
Where everyone gets a free wild boar.
The results will be graphic
But I have the notion
The world’s average IQ will soar.
Filed under Poems
You’re Welcome
Happy day of motherhood
To all the moms who mother good
For all the kids that mothers had
Through collaboration with a dad.
My mom had but children two.
One is me. The other’s probably not you.
I was the second, and my mom said
“Better quit while I’m ahead.”
My mom mothered day and night
And must have done something just right
To raise a glorious son like me
Who writes her lovely poetry.
Now separate as we may be,
If only geographically,
I’ll always hold you in my heart
Because you made my heart first start.
And Then The Lord Did Unfriend Me
God made me a sandwich
And told me not to tell
But that’s my coolest story
So I’ll see all y’all in hell.
Filed under Poems
Maybe If We Got One Of Those Video Games The Kids Like And Put Guns In It? Have We Tried That Yet?
I’m not so concerned about politicians
With approval rates at historical lows.
Instead I’m concerned that armed rebellion
Is still unpopular, but hey, that’s how it goes.
Filed under Poems
My Response To Deodorant Salespeople
If God intended
Men to have scentless armpits
He’d have made us snakes.
Filed under Poems
Memoirs Of An Ass
They call me smart, they call me dumb,
They call me nice, and yet a bum,
The call me wise, they call me fat,
And somehow I am all of that.
As a body part, you love me;
As a personality, you hate
There’s a decent chance that I’m the thing
That helped you get a date.
So grab me or embrace me
In body and in soul
But please personify my cheek
And steer clear of my hole.
Filed under Poems
Eight Hours Of Peace And Quiet
Toilet seats are cold
Unless you stay on them ‘til
The next needed time.
Filed under Poems
When In Doubt, Honeydew Not
If you eat some fruit that’s mushy
It’ll put a fire in your tushy.
If you think that it will not…
I’m writing on the pot.
Filed under Poems
The Consequences of Social Media Engagement
There once was a reader named collectionspeedyae66825e51
Who cut the wire on my post from two days ago and now it’s done…
Tomorrow looks at the news
And see what collectionspeedyae66825e51 did choose,
But for now I’m going to collectionspeedyae66825e5 RUN!
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 