So the shark attacked
And killed lots of people who
Went back three more times?
Tag Archives: Silly
Life = Short
Everything is fatal
If you do it long enough.
That’s why I sit on the couch
And write poems and stuff.
Filed under Poems
Spooky Discovers Fractions
I jumped out from behind a door
To startle a friend. They screamed
And said I scared them half to death.
My evil eye then gleamed
And I leapt out another time
To scare the other half away
But turns out they’re just 3/4 dead
And otherwise okay…
Filed under Poems
Bongos (And The Rest Is History)
“So I have this really crappy drum
That sounds like birds flying into a wall
And I’ve tried selling it to musicians
But no one is buying at all.”
“Have you tried sticking two drums together
And giving them a really dumb name?”
“Why, no. Do you think that will help
If they still sound incredibly lame?”
Filed under Poems
One’m Really Sorry Guys…
There once was a Roman dragoon
Who got stabbed by a harpoon.
The medic said, “He
“Really needs an IV.”
The Roman said, “It’s a four, you buffoon!”
Filed under Poems
Badduh Hairo, Desu Ne?
They made the very first anime
Back in 1963.
Since then it’s been a mainstay
Of international TV.
They have animes about everything
From kitties to killers, but still
No one’s made one with Japanese barbers
And I’m starting to think no one will…
Filed under Poems
Holy Cow
People will say “Jesus Christ”
“God Damn” and “Heaven Forbid.”
Meanwhile, there’s just some bull out there
Who’s wondering what he did…
Filed under Poems
Survival Tips
Living in the Arctic
Isn’t easy, so I’m told;
It’s devoid of food and shelter
And interminably cold.
But worse than frigid weather
Or starvation you should know
Is that even on the warmest days
The wi-fi’s always slow.
Filed under Poems
Fire Red, Black Version
What is up my future trainer?
You see my name is Oak.
I’m a Pokémon professor
And that’s no Poké-joke.
I forgot my grandson’s name
And I’m uncertain of your gender
So take this fire-breathing cutie
And go on a Poké-bender.
Before you leave my lab
You and what’s-his-name will fight.
So you don’t know what to do?
That’s the tutorial all right!
Now go deliver this parcel
To the Viridian guy
And tell your mama that you’re leaving
‘Cause you’ll probably Poké-die.
Wait, you made it? You’re amazing!
That must take Pokéballs.
Keep your lizard you wizard
And depart from these walls.
You better go get eight badges
From the Pokémon gyms
And also stop the Poké-mafia
And keep all your limbs.
And if you make it to the end
With all your cuties leveled up
I’ll take a break from your mama
To come and tell you what’s up
Which is that you are the champion
And not what’s his name
So watch some unskippable credits
And join the Poké-Hall-of-Fame.
Then go back to your family
And play on your NES.
Wait, you want some more adventure?
Well who’da Poké-guessed?
Don’t worry little trainer
(Still can’t tell if you’re a girl)
‘Cause we’ve got thirty years of games
For you to give a Poliwhirl.
Not sure what Poliwhirl is?
Don’t feel bad.
In the early days we weren’t sure
The power Pikachu had
So we made a hundred-fifty
Little monsters to enslave
And told you to catch ‘em all
But only gave you one save
So to really win this challenge
You’re gonna have to go out
And sell your friends another game;
That’s what we’re Poké-about!
Are you laughing? Is that crying?
No, that wasn’t a joke.
Now go bring me a Mewtwo
Or I’ll give your mom my Oak.
Filed under Poems
