There once was a poet from Newark
Who never finished his work.
Even though it’d be easy
He was just that cheesy.
Tag Archives: Stupid
Deterrent or Solution? How About Both!
If everyone had nuclear missiles
And lacked all self control
The internet would be a more peaceful place
And that is a most noble goal.
Filed under Poems
Leadership in 2023
All kids get trophies
And generals get medals
And the commander in chief asks
“Why don’t wheelchairs have pedals?”
Filed under Poems
Investment Analysis
There once was a CPA
Who managed my 401(K).
They said unto me
That a 403(B)
Would be better. Why? IDFK
Filed under Poems
Guest Poem by POTUS
I will start by saying
Haikus have five syllables
In the first and third lines.
Filed under Poems
When Gen Z Starts A Gang War
I think it’s just a matter of time
Before injured people try
To eat all the food in their inventory
Expecting not to die.
It’s sort of like the Tide Pod challenge
Mixed with “Supersize Me”
And when it becomes a TikTok trend
I hope you don’t despise me.
Filed under Poems
“Housing Prices Are Becoming More Affordable” He Said Between Bites Of $50 Celery
In October I didn’t write any posts
And apparently all of my readers were ghosts.
This month I wrote things, and here’s how it went:
My views went up 234 percent!
See, when you take big things and make them real small
It doesn’t take very much effort at all
To make a small number look very excitin’
And that’s economics presented by Biden.
Filed under Poems
Watching The News
I, for one, am grateful
That 24 hours a day
I can turn a TV on
And learn I’m not ok
‘Cause someone in another state
Is angry and insisted
That the government fix an issue
That I didn’t know existed.
I’m glad I can be angry
On demand, and also wary
Now that I know a deadly thing
Is affirmed as “very scary”.
I’m also glad these stations
Are translated totally free
To whatever political language
Is most offensive to me!
We’re lucky seven corporations
Tell us the woes of corporate greed
While insuring that we’re well-informed
About what brand-name crap we need.
Anyway, I’m done complaining!
Now excuse me as I go
To learn about the trans kids
Swimming here from Mexico.
Filed under Poems
My New Fitness Plan
Some people think that spending
Forty bucks a month or so
For exercising at a gym
Is just the way to go.
I think that cancelling the gym
Is the same as getting paid
Forty bucks a month to not
Work out. I’ve got it made!
Filed under Poems
Hunter’s Ted Talk
Remember when we were in grade school
And the winner of every fight
Wasn’t the guy who said “I have infinity”
But “I have infinity plus one”, right?
Well yesterday my boss said “You’re fired”
And I said “No, I’m infinity fired plus one”
And now I’m on the board of directors
And also the president’s son!
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 