On the one hand, I’m disappointed.
On the other hand, I am ok
That I don’t have to spend my whole afternoon
Watching both teams I hate get to play.
Tag Archives: Stupid
F***ing Chiefs Again? Really? Even Hollywood Is More Creative…
There once was a high football tier
That played Winter and Fall every year.
One day a guy tripped
But it wasn’t in the script
But the refs smiled and said “Hold my beer.”
Filed under Poems
When You’re Under Orders To Neglect Your Duty
When your nation makes it illegal
To enforce our most basic of laws
It signals that our compliance
Must end, or at least go on pause.
Filed under Poems
If Only My Hat Could Use Google Images…
I entered an area
Where hard hats were required.
Now I need to find a hot female hat
Or I just might get fired.
Filed under Poems
All Choices Have Their Place… It Just Shouldn’t Be A Place Of Power
Democracy is when you’re thirsty
And you long for a cool cup of juice
And the grocer says “We’ve only got soy milk
“Or Wd-40. You choose.”
Filed under Poems
I Prefer My Bread And Circuses Half-Naked, Not Half-Witted
I can accept our world is being run
By faceless corporations
Who choose political puppets
To fulfill their machinations,
That we, the proletariat,
Cannot escape this iron grip
But why do they always pick old white dudes
And not hot girls? What a gyp!
Filed under Poems
My Inner Child Is Sitting Down, But All The Other Inner Children Are Standing Up And Moving
Sammeeches are yummiyums
And cheekens good in bellies
And I like grapes and appleswoss
And chocolate-caramellies.
I can eat twenty tootsie rollups
And an asparagoos stawck as well.
I’m a master of munching and yummiyums
But not twalking or nowing how to spell.
Filed under Poems
“Hey Guys! What If We Hijack The Playoffs And Pretend It’s A Cool Innovation Instead Of A Paywall? I Bet Nobody Will Cancel Their Subscription The Day After.” -Some Peacock Exec, Probably
There once was a streaming station
Who aired a playoff game to the nation.
The broadcast was bad
And no one will be sad
If the ratings show as “Devastation.”
Filed under Poems
Sometimes Leaning Into The Delusion Is The Best Antidote For Delusion
I think we should make the minimum wage
A million dollars an hour
So we could see the system collapse
And redefine the balance of power.
Filed under Poems
If I Transcribed My Entire Thought Process While Writing Jokes Instead Of Just The Finished Product
There once was a suburban dad
Who was a most serious lad.
He never told jokes
To his kids or his folks
And because of that they all were sad.
Now that you feel sufficiently guilty…
What did the dog say to the octopus?
I like bones.
Get it? ‘Cause he’s a dog?
Laugh, or I’ll read you the limerick again…
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 