In December I sat on a frozen lake
And fished for rainbow trout.
The next two months I did the same
‘Cause that’s what I’m about.
This Summer I’m vacationing
Somewhere in the Maldives.
I know there’s no ice-fishing there
But I can avoid my 28 wives.
Tag Archives: Travesty
When You Break The 11th Commandment
There once was a womxn from Berkeley
Who acted rashly and berserkly.
Zhe drove a non-hybrid car
To an all-vegan bar.
These micro-aggressions were carried out jerkily.
Filed under Poems
Truth, AKA The Last Resort
Once again I find myself
Besot by evening’s chill,
No longer in possession of
The time I had to kill.
My mind fixates upon the task
I’ve thus far left undone:
I swore I’d write a poem a day
And yet have written none.
Thus I lie upon my bed
Writing where I am now,
Stating the truth about my life
As syllables allow.
Now comes the peril of present-tense:
I write that I’m writing,
Now I reread the previous line
To see if it’s exciting.
I also find, where once I wrote
Six syllables then eight,
My meter has forsaken me
By virtue of it’s late.
Thus endeth my desperate foray
To create relevant verse.
To all reading I bid good night!
(Poetry is a curse).
Taste Optional
I saw an advertisement
For a poetry group today
Inviting folks to “come and read
“A poem that stabs the heart,
Reveals a truth or sadness,
Or helps you shout hooray.”
I was not well received
By reading “Ode to a Fart.”
Filed under Poems
But Why?
The road told the rooster
“You look like a hen.”
The rooster killed the road’s family
And it never crossed the chicken again.
Filed under Poems
Princess Fatigue
Ask any man “Would you marry?”
And the man will most-likely say “Sure.”
He’d wear a gold ring for the rest of his days
To announce his commitment to her.
Ask any girl “Would you marry?”
And she’ll smile and say “Yes” with glee.
“And he’d wear a gold ring for the rest of his days
“To announce his commitment to me!”
The Humpback
If you’re a man trying to hump
A large marine mammal that’s male
If it humps back you may have found
A homosexuwhale.
Filed under Poems
Starched Contrast
“Iron Man” is a hero
Who shoots lasers from his hand.
He has no female counterpart…
“Iron Woman” is a command.
Filed under Poems
More Deep Thoughts
Living a happy and comfortable life
Is like eating a lot of chocolate:
It makes you fat and kills you slowly
But it’s totally worth it.
Filed under Poems
This Poem Is Brolken
I wanted to make a polka joke
To show I am a funny folk
Then I drank a diet colk
So instead I told a polka jolk.
Filed under Poems
