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Category Archives: Poems
My Little Fountain
I have a fountain in my yard.
It doesn’t fountain very hard,
Just drips and drips onto a spot
And fills my hose when the weather’s hot.
Some may say that it’s a tap
But I think that’s a load of crap.
If soda and drinking fountains count
Then mine’s a fountain too by my account.
I’m proud of my little drippy fountain.
For it I’d move many a mountain
For when I’m a sweaty yard-working man
I drink from it just ‘cause I can.
Filed under Poems
Origins of Childhood Trauma
Super secret base.
Red alert! It’s Mom and Dad
Taking pillows back…
Filed under Poems
Notting Hill
There once was a good-looking chap
Who spilled juice on a movie star’s lap.
They would, then they wouldn’t,
They could but they couldn’t,
And, my goodness, their acting was crap.
Filed under Poems
The Introvert’s Decision
Go big or go home?
Suffice to say I am not
Fond of going big.
Filed under Poems
Location Is Everything
Shelly sells seashells at the seashore.
Nobody quite knows what she does this for.
No one buys the shells she sells, so I am pondering
If Shelly’s shells are a shell business for money laundering.
Filed under Poems
The First Packaging Scam
We complain about shrinkflation
Like half-empty bags of chips
Or getting a 15-ounce container
With just 12 ounces of dips
And yet for all my lifetime
We’ve still bought those honey bears
And you can’t squeeze honey through their neck
But no one really cares…
Filed under Poems
The Internet Is On Life Support
So you’re telling me your business
Uses AI to write reviews
To improve my website traffic
And increase my daily views?
Then you show your website
And your 4.9 on Yelp
And expect me to believe you?
No, I do not need your help.
Filed under Poems
The Finalists For The 2025 Missing Championship
Epstein client list
Inner city black father
Livable wage jobs
Filed under Poems
Video Killed The Radio Star, But Older (Enhanced Interrogation Edition)
I feel sorry for the guy
Who invented the torture rack,
The iron maiden, the eyeball-scooper thing,
And other tools to make folks crack
Because all of his inventions
Were obsolete in 1723
When Pierre Fauchard came to town
And invented dentistry.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 