Back to school is near…
Then, when kids are back in class
Pumpkin spice returns.
Category Archives: Poems
Mama… Dada…****ing **** ******* in a ****** Puddle
If we make all words
Inappropriate to say
Kids will talk at birth.
Filed under Poems
TL;DR — Game of Thrones
There once was a powerhouse show
About dragons and some dude called Snow.
It ran for eight seasons
But for several reasons
We don’t talk about it no mo’.
Filed under Poems
When The Beloved Classic Novel Has A Slow Start
Sorry, Scout and co…
I don’t care about your town.
Just kill the dang bird!
Filed under Poems
When Counting Your Blessings Doesn’t Work, Try Counting Your Absences
Everyone in the world
Should get a chihuahua
From the government, totally free
Because when they all die
We’ll all understand
How much better life is when dog-free.
Filed under Poems
Sincerely, Educated White Dudes
I’m not much of a gangster
And I’m not a street-smart guy
So can anyone enlighten me
How so much gets you high?
For example, bath salts
And keyboard cleaner cans
Made someone want to sniff them
And promptly earned their bans…
Who are the people purchasing
And sniffing random goods
To see if something in them
Makes them feel different moods?
And if it’s not trial and error
But some scientific knowledge
That tells you what’s worth selling
On the street to pay for college
Then why aren’t people using
This backroom chemical expertise
To make it so the methheads
Can unabashedly say “cheese”?
Filed under Poems
El Haiku Mucho Bueno
Burritos are great;
They put smiles on your face
And songs in your butt.
The Future Is Now
I write an essay for my class
Using ChatGPT.
The AI-checker software says
It was written by me.
But I write a post on Facebook
That includes the phrase, “The Jews”
And I get called a Russian bot
And scolded on the news.
Filed under Poems
When You Hit 18, That’s When You Buy A New One
If your underwear
Doesn’t have at least nine holes
You might be a chick
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 