Category Archives: Poems

Superhero Anthem?

A figure flies along the streets

Of a city, black and grey,

Equipped with special armaments

With which to hunt her prey.

Her foes are public enemies

Called apathy and fear.

She strikes them down with not a frown

But a flash of wit and cheer.

Her only superpower

Is a total lack of worry

With which she slays uncertainty

In one most epic flurry!

Who is this maid of mystery

And what can she not do?

We cannot know for certain

But I hope she might be you!

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Video Games

People go to work

Eight hours a day

Clicking buttons mindlessly

To earn their meager pay,

After which they go home

And spend sixty bucks

To click buttons mindlessly

And then say their life sucks…

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Higher Education is a Cure for Introversion

I once found it tough

To talk about stuff,

But then I went to college.

Now I regale ya

About paraphernalia

‘Cause now I’ve got the knowledge!

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X-1 Teachers

If two trains depart at identical hours

Traveling towards one another

On parallel tracks, both carrying snacks

For the opposite engineer’s mother

When first they pass one another

At speeds varying by a factor of 5

How long will it take before students

Make their teacher no longer alive?

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Feel The Burn

I’m not a really kinky dude

(As you may have surmised)

So I don’t know if this is real

But I wouldn’t be surprised:

There should be a dating site

For folks who “sub” or “dom”

To meet in public places…

“Strike-Anywhere Match.com”

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Some Things Must Never Be Said In Civilized Company

I interviewed a guy today

Who seemed a classy man;

A graduate from Harvard

Who served in Afghanistan,

An ally to the homeless

Who kept them clothed and fed.

He was well-prepared, as well as

Well-dressed and well-read.

The only box that wasn’t checked

For this supreme go-getter

Was when he said “the warm side

Of the pillow feels better.”

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After 2029 It’s “2020: Anniversary Edition”

Some people think this year will be bad

Because it comes after twenty-twenty

But that’s objectively untrue.

If you want to find an equal

Just realize they’ve scheduled a sequel

Every year ’til twenty-twenty nine

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And The Lord Made The Oceans…

Some folks say that God is dead,

But that’s misinformation.

The real truth is God is gone

On one big long vacation.

He asked his faithful angel pal

To water his plant before bed,

But the angel pal misread the note

And watered the planet instead.

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When People Write In Nothing But Emojis

The longest month of springtime,

A ball that helps you see,

A band with too much makeup,

And a goat we named “Marie.”

I meant to be romantic

But she had no clue

That I was simply asking

“May I kiss you?”

📆👁🐼🎵🐐?

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First Amendment Sad!

I gave a presentation

About a prehistoric human

But when my speech was finished

My audience was fumin’.

A reporter stood and said “Hello,

“My name is Molly Kerrigan.

“There’s no such thing as cavemen.

“They’re Subterranean Americans.”

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