Parents these days think names
Are unique if spelled a different way.
Alas we end up asking
“How do you spell William with a K?”
Category Archives: Poems
Engineers Talk About Love
They say when you love something
Time will stand still.
I think love’s correlated
With my watch-repair bill.
KOA Circa 1801
Sparks rise into the cold black air.
We the living huddle by the source.
We’ve a pail of frigid water to wash our hair
And the lot of us smell more or less like horse.
The moon is but a crack in gloomy midnight.
Our dinner was a lukewarm can of beans.
We’re thirsty after hours in harsh sunlight
But there’s no clean water to fill up our canteens.
Somewhere in the blackness comes a growling
And we dare not leave our camp to take a piss.
All the while Daddy is a smiling
While the rest of the family thinks “we paid for this?”
Filed under Poems
Times Getting-Old-Now Roman
One of the items
On my list of wants
Is the power to speak
In different fonts.
The power of Impact,
Or Arial’s even measure…
The freedom to choose
Would be such a treasure!
But alas in this world
Of fontless death and birth
We’re trapped in a state
Of Helvetica on Earth.
Filed under Poems
Involuntary Green Party Inductees Share Their Stories
Clumps of verdant
Pungent green,
Thicker than
I’ve ever seen.
Green as moss
In the city park,
Thick and tough
As cedar bark.
Tufts of emerald
Large as deer,
As far as you
Can see and hear.
Aromatic green
As wide as can be…
I only can wonder
Why it’s growing on me.
Filed under Poems
Dracula’s Social Life
Why does the slain dragon
No longer roar?
Why must we hear nothing
From the trophy boar?
Why does Mr. Presley
Play music no more?
Why must other dead things
Be such a snore?
Filed under Poems
The Water-Carrier’s Son
If your life is a “1” out right now
When you’re dead it might be a “10,”
Like the ancient Greek guy, Thermos,
Who’s laughing his ass to death again.
Filed under Poems
No Accounting For Taste (97% Fiction)
Four days ago I wrote a post
That said my throat was sore.
It still is and I’m tired
And I’m snowed-in and I’m bored.
I’m wearing just a bathrobe
That’s drenched in day-old phlegm.
Still no luck with the gals on Tinder…
Well, I don’t know what’s wrong with them.
Filed under Poems
How I Read Political Posts
Today elected people
Did a thing I think is bad
And I want all my contacts
To be upset that I am sad.
I want my friends and followers
To hear my text-based whine.
If you’re not sympathetic
Then an argument’s also fine.
Seems An Odd Thing To Screw In
You ask about plumbers,
Bankers, musicians,
Comedians, Atheists,
Boxers, physicians.
You ask how many
Of each it would take
To screw in a lightbulb
For goodness sake!
You look for an answer
And I have one for you;
For each subgroup listed
You only need two.
How many it takes
Isn’t the question to say.
You ask how do you fit two people
In a lightbulb anyway?
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 