Category Archives: Poems

Getting Out Of Anywhere

I’m driving down the interstate,

The freeway, highway, expressway.

I see folks who don’t want to wait,

Folks who sin, folks who pray.

I see lines of cement, concrete

Cutting green and yellow squares

Through fields of grass and corn and wheat,

Driving right through anywhere.

I pass by Costco, Sam’s Club, Joe’s,

Past rectangular white houses

Avoiding eye contact from those

Who wear jeans and shoes and blouses.

Then I take exit one-o-eight there

Past the fence the cows broke through

And I say goodbye to anywhere

And say hello again to you.

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Hector Problems

Some days you’re unstoppable,

The top dog, the golden boy.

Other days your corpse gets dragged

Around the walls of Troy.

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Modern Sports

Thwunk!

Up goes the ball.

Oooh!

Up goes the excitement.

Aaaah!

Uo goes the hot dog guy into the ambulance.

Click!

Up go the youtube views.

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Yay! (Now What Do I Write)?

Several days ago

700 followers we hit.

I realize at self-promotion

I really am… Less than optimal.

Thank you for supporting

My daily slog of passion

And commenting to show love,

Not merely to cash in.

All 704 of you

Are deserving of praise and respect

For you have displayed great taste

And superior intellect.

Now that I’ve bribed you with kindness

(All of which is sincere, by the way)

I bid you good night ’til tomorrow

When I’m hopefully inspired again.

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T-Rex Problems

I’m happy and I know it

And I really want to show it

But I find myself unable

To comply with your demands

For no matter how happy I am

I find myself in a bit of a jam

For I find myself unable

To do the deed of “clap your hands.”

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Get Lost

Verdant green forest around me.

Mountains and rivers as well.

I am in nature to find myself,

So at least step one went well.

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Go There And Do Nothing

Don’t send her a breakup text

Next time your love’s in doubt.

Instead you take her to the gym

To show her how you’re not working out.

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The Lament Of An Atheist Ghost

If you kill me

‘Til I’m dead

By hitting me

Upon my head

I will not get

Revenge on you

‘Cause that’s not a thing

Dead folks can do.

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I Don’t Know Who, But I Bet You’re Going To Tell Me

If your child is a knock-knocker

And you are a who’s-there-er

Then you probably know by now

You’ve made a huge parenting error.

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And I Don’t

You wrote the words

For weeks and months.

You edited for days.

You shared the thought

With everyone

In many different ways.

You wrote it down

On a gilded slab,

Even took the time to clean it.

You’ve done this to say

“I’m sorry,”

But you still don’t have to mean it.

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