You’re here to see a concert
And the first piece we will play
Is the thanking of the sponsors,
For although you had to pay
A decent sum of money
To come see our group perform
Without our corporate overlords
We’d not be able to form.
Thank you to the money guys
Who like this older stuff.
Now please prepare to give a hand
For another half an hour of fluff…
Filed under Poems
I hope that before I die
I’ll fart one million times.
That or curing cancer…
Or maybe writing rhymes?
Filed under Poems
Now Google Chrome apparently
Is blocking third-party cookies
So companies have to pay them
To earn the user clicks and lookies.
People are acting like this is bad,
As if personalized ads were good…
But people are optimistic about the election
So I guess they probably would.
Filed under Poems
I want to skip my poem today.
The thought went through my head
And yet I wrote a poem…
Maybe I’ll skip leg day instead!
Filed under Poems
If I were a Pokemon master
I’d sure get to work a lot faster.
With my Dragonite I’d
No traffic abide…
On reflection, that would be a disaster.
Filed under Poems
It started with the big floppy disc
Then they made a smaller floppy.
CDs came, then thumb drives,
And now we have the micro-SD.
I guess we can be grateful
That our storage is getting firm
But the reduction in storage size
Is making my male brain squirm…
Filed under Poems
Americans love their football teams.
Canadians love their hockey.
Mexicans are the cross country champs.
In China it’s boxing (Not like Rocky).
Filed under Poems
Music is the universal language.
It can communicate to anyone at all
Things like “I have bad taste in music”
And “Girl, hop in! We’re going to the mall!”
Filed under Poems
If I had a nickel
For every commercial starring a white guy
I would have as much money
As the black people who aren’t in ads.
—————————————————————
Violets are black.
Roses are black.
Criminals are racially diverse
So cut me some slack.
—————————————————————
Sure, the future isn’t white
But don’t you worry! It’s alright!
Europe’s long past its golden days
And no one likes swimming anyways.
Filed under Poems
I paid a lot of money
To see Bingo balls go “whir”
At the place I lost my savings
And the waitress called me “sir”.
It’s worth it for the privilege
Of putting five things in a line
And laughing with the others when
They call “I 69”.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 