The was a Virginian from Idaho
Who brought from Alaska a pile of snow.
Iowa him a debt
Hawaii’ll pay? Don’t know yet
I’m Missouri-able, and might flee to Mexico.
Tag Archives: America
Patty > Bun, etc.
Pizza’s pretty yummy
And hot dogs taste real nice
But I can do without the carbs
And even sans the spice.
Instead of all that bready stuff
What I really want to eat
Is meat covered in melted cheese
Then covered in even more meat!
Filed under Poems
Predicting the Future
The year was 2055
And Disney was somehow still alive.
Their greatest writer stood and said
“What if Black Panther was white instead?”
And coast to coast the people caved
As bloggers whined and critics raved
And I, at 60 years, just sat
Rewatching Shrek, and that was that.
Filed under Poems
America’s Great Mistake
Wild turkey
Powerful majestic bird
Bald eagles are overrated
Turkeys are tasty
And kind
Filed under Poems
Game: A – Commercials D+
Once again the footballs clashed
Between two well-paid teams
Who di athletic contest stuff
To countless fans’ screams
While corporations tried their best
To make us watch their ad
And all the Philedelphians
Are feeling pretty mad.
The winners were the chiefs, of course,
And also Jesus and beer.
Here’s to the beat Super Bowl ever
Until it happens again next year!
Filed under Poems
State of the Union Reaction
I think everything should be free
‘Cause I saw a speech on TV.
I’m glad that the rich
Agree they’re our bitch
And they’ll buy my whole wishlist for me!
Filed under Poems
But Which Has More Hot Air
There once was a balloon from China
That flew over North Carolina.
Some guy shot it down
And earned more renown
Than president Joe the Mangina.
Filed under Poems
Now Mr. Horns Needs Emotional Support Too… Freakin’ East Coast *@%*s
I tried to take my emotional support rhino
On my flight to NYC
But they said I had to buy another seat…
So much for body positivity!
Filed under Poems
Yeah… So Much For “Anything Can Happen”
There once were eight teams
With ambitions and dreams
Of competing for Super Bowl glory.
The boring teams won
And we didn’t have fun
And that’s today’s NFL story.
Filed under Poems
Ask Me About My School Lunch Policy
If I had a peanut
For every time I had a dark thought
There we be fewer kids with allergies
And crematoriums would profit a lot.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 