Tag Archives: Complicated

Games, Then And Now

Games Now

So each of you has a unique lord

That determines if you place your board

At the forest’s edge or river’s ford

Before you fight the endless hoard.

On your turn, you have three actions

To influence the seven factions

Through use of normal or dire impactions…

Oops! Here’s the glossary of contractions.

So, then, after the action phase

You choose which players fold or raise

And the loser of the wager pays

To choose which opponent the goblin slays.

Repeat like this for three more rounds

Until the hoard no longer abounds

At which point we imitate the sounds

Of the wyverns fleeing from the grounds.

The winner is the player who’s

Captured the most opponent’s clues

Without revealing their unique ruse

And after paying union dues.

Games Then

So you roll a pair of dice

And you move that many squares

And you pay each other money

Until no one really cares.

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Pokemon In A Nutshell

Fire doesn’t like water

And water doesn’t like grass

And grass doesn’t like bugs

Because bugs are a pain in the ass.

Bugs don’t like rocks

And rocks don’t like fighting

And fighting is afraid of psychics

Because they say the right thing.

Psychics don’t like ghosts

And ghosts don’t like the dark

And darkness hates fairies

Because they hang out in the park.

Fairies don’t like poison

And poison hates the ground

And ground does not like ice

Nor the British sterling pound.

Ice, of course, hates fire

And there are dragons in here too.

Normal stuff hates getting punched.

See, it’s super simple! Whoo!

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Why You Shouldn’t Be An English Major

Bucolic was the morning mist

On fields outside of Boise.

The adults sipped their hot caffein

And the children weren’t noisy.

Within one comely bungalow

A dalliance effloresced.

You probably don’t know what that means

And perhaps it’s for the best.

I bring up this erstwhile dalliance

Between man and ingénou

With intentional insouciance

To show I’m smarter than you.

The denouement of this poem,

Evanescent as it is,

Shows evidence of the inurement

I’ve derived from colleges.

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Oligarchy Elementary Is Accepting New Students

I beg your pardon

For I mean to yap at thee

My case for nonconsensual

Reallocation of apathy,

For were we to allow

Our youth to expand

Their range of beliefs

We’d soon lose command

Of the best and the brightest

And the dullards alike.

Though the latter don’t argue

The former’d take a hike

And should free-thinkers see

All the ways we have lied…

Well, that is a notion

We must not abide.

Thus we must imprison

(At least to an extent)

Those who’ve not yet reached

The age of consent

And proceed to tell them

Facts they will ignore

To distract from the world

That they long to explore.

We’ll teach them arithmetic,

Reading, and writing

But most of all that

There is no need for fighting

For if each one resisted

Each oppressive foe

Then our script would be flipped

We, the high, become low.

Thus state education

In all things miscellaneous

Shall ensure that our underlings

Are not extemporaneous.

Thus closes my pitch

For public education.

We overlords live

Thanks to school’s misdirection.

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The Present Present Is Presented By Presence

Your presence

Is like the absence

Of a present

Of being absent.

That’s how I feel

Which is to say

Your absence is a present

So please go away.

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Art Appreciation, Chapter One

Visualize synchronicity:

The epiphanies stimulate

Largesse and postulation.

Improvement is realized through 

Calamitous virtues,

And that is why pigs are green.

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How To Write Poetry, As Written by a Master

The fragments of a sunny mind

Coalesced in humble station

Do take images clear and true

To merge by obfuscation.

Meter and alliteration,

Thesaurus ad infinitum;

The poet utilizes these

As his poems, he does write ’em.

What once was green and white

Is basil and alabaster

If indeed the poetry you find

Is scripted by a master.

With these prerequisites complete

Thus finished is the poetic feat,

But resist that tempting lure.

Add a few more stanzas to be sure.

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