Yesterday
All my motivation went away
Now I’m writing you this poem today,
A parody
Of yesterday.
Tag Archives: Dumb
I Actually Don’t Know… I Just Write Too Many Eight Line Poems
We played D&D
For nine hours today
So my brain is quite fried
And I hope it’s okay
That this poem is brief,
Just seven lines long.
“Why not eight?” you ask?
Lycanthropyness (Other Spellings Acceptable)
I’m basically a werewolf
But instead of being transformy
When the full moon rises
I get very horny.
The other difference
Between a werewolf and my ways
Is that I’m also were-horny
The other 28 days.
Filed under Poems
When Your 12-Year-Old Tells A Dirty Joke
A missionary and his doggy
Went to town via 69th street.
This poem would be longer
But I don’t know grownup sheet.
Really Though… I Would Love To See More Movies Dubbed With Animal Noises
I wonder if animals watching TV
Think every show is just a human Lassie:
“Oh look! A talking human is saving the day.
“It makes its funny noises and everything is ok.”
Filed under Poems
Geolo-Gee Whiz!
They say imitation is the highest form of flattery
But I’m not sure about that though;
In my opinion, the highest form of flattery
Would have to be a plateau.
Filed under Poems
Why People Don’t Write Sonnets Anymore
As the auburn sunrise comes to settle
O’er the rocky hillside by the pine tree
Two boys compete to test th’others mettle
And by “boy” we mean those who cannot biologically experience pregnancy
And we do acknowledge that some who can experience pregnancy do identify as boys
And some who cannot do not identify as boys, but as ceilings
And then they hit each other with their Star Wars episode XXVIII toys
And were told “No D’CarsenIsabellaLiam”, which hurt their feelings
So their parents apologized, whether
Or not that was the thing for them to do
And they sang “Hail to the Chief” together
As the auburn sunset signaled curfew.
Filed under Poems
Classic vs. Modern Openings
Some heroes wear capes;
Some villains wear capes too;
This is effectively the same poem as
“Roses are red, violets are blue.”
Relationship Goals
Y=X*0
Is a great mathematical hero
Because it refrains from doing crime
Despite running into its X literally all the time.
Filed under Poems
Everyone Loves Being Notified Of The Ordinary Life Of Acquaintances
There once was a millennial parent
Who thought it completely apparent
That people online
Wanted to see their kids doing fine
But it turns out those people did caren’t.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 