We’ve talked about Chinese food
Being cats for many a year
And I have to ask if Haitians
Are missing a franchise opportunity here…
Tag Archives: food
Dirty Mind Test, V. 2024
They’re sweet and round and yummy
And better when filled with meat.
I’ll grab a pair with both my hands,
Spread some mayo, smile, and eat.
Mix it with a pickle
(A wiener would do as well)
And you’ve got yourself an evening…
Yeah, her buns are sweet as hell!
Filed under Poems
What Did You Have For Lunch?
Today I tried making sushi
And, in a way, it was a success…
I managed to put all the rice in a roll
And wrap it in bamboo and press.
The ingredients all fit together
And it tasted like sushi indeed.
The downside is it looked like Lizzo
Wrapped in very expensive seaweed.
Filed under Poems
Elite Athletes Need Specific Food? Nah… Be Vegan
There once were olympics in Paris
Whose food service tends to embarrass.
They said “Earth’s getting hot!
“Eat le meat you will not
“But you’ll have un grande vue from the terrace.”
Filed under Poems
Poems from My Vacation 1 – Breakfast
Be me on the ocean
On my early morning jaunt
And I’m greeted on the stairway
By a chocolate croissant.
It’s sitting on a marble step,
Uneaten, undisturbed,
And it greets me silently,
Melty and unperturbed.
Part of me is hungry
And would gladly pick it up
But my wife holds my left hand
And my right hand holds a cup.
Instead I bend my pelvis
And my knees caress the floor
And in one delicious moment
The croissant is no more.
Filed under Poems
The Power Of Comparison
If you ask guests at a restaurant
“Would you like to try the lamb?”
They might say “yes”, or maybe “no”,
Or “I don’t give a damn.”
But if you ask those same guests
If they prefer starfish tartar
You’ll find them much more likely
To prefer the lamb by far.
Filed under Poems
My Inner Child Is Sitting Down, But All The Other Inner Children Are Standing Up And Moving
Sammeeches are yummiyums
And cheekens good in bellies
And I like grapes and appleswoss
And chocolate-caramellies.
I can eat twenty tootsie rollups
And an asparagoos stawck as well.
I’m a master of munching and yummiyums
But not twalking or nowing how to spell.
Filed under Poems
This Poem Was Written In Real Time…
The waitress took our order
With a smile on her face
And then apparently decided
To desert the human race.
More than half an hour later
We’ve killed a pitcher of beer.
Our senses are still present
Though the help has disappeared.
It’s midnight at the bar,
Then it’s one here at the grill.
Our belly’s good and empty
But our hope is holding still.
We’re waiting on our sandwich
And it’s 2025,
And the chef has just confirmed
That the waitress is alive.
My beard is grey, my hair is gone,
I drool and shift and snore…
Then the waitress comes out smiling
And she says “Five minutes more.”
Filed under Poems
It’s All The Rage In The Middle East These Days!
I saw a survey at a shop
That made me pause, then fully stop.
It asked “What flavor would you want
“To drink here in our restaurant?”
I think they wanted “Pumpkin spice”,
“Caramel pecan”, or something nice.
I wrote “The blood of politicians
“Collected via millions of small incisions.”
Filed under Poems
Why I Love Asian Food
I was warming a bowl of alphabet soup
‘Cause I’m a grown up, and I can
When I looked down and wondered aloud
“Why’s there so much broth in my pan?”
Now I could add noodles and call it a day
But I felt, toward that fix, an aversion,
So instead I went shopping for a new can
And this time got the Japanese version.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 