They put a DVD
In the Nintendo Wii.
They told me “Just Dance”
So I ripped off my pants
And now nobody’s playing with me…
Tag Archives: Limerick
My Bedtime Is At 8:00… Cut Me Some Slack
There once was a birthday party
That started at 6:30
It went a long time,
Which makes it hard to rhyme
Which is why “30” is now pronounced “tharty”.
Filed under Poems
The Placebo Effect
There once was a sinister plot
Much worse than you ever thought…
It involved mind control
And a dark, moonlit stroll.
Now tell: are you worried or not?
—————————————————————
There once was the snazziest plan;
Make it seem just as cool as you can!
Sure, there’s thinking involved…
But the problems it’s solved!
I love me some sugar pills, man!
Filed under Poems
English 101
There once was a five paragraph essay
That had one compelling thing to say
Then repeated that message
Twice, then thrice for to stressage
That there once was a five paragraph essay.
Filed under Poems
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Humptulips,_Washington
There once was a man from Humptulips
Who worked in a restaurant for a few tips.
He made decent money
But mostly it’s just funny
That there’s an actual town called Humptulips.
Filed under Poems
Yeah, It’s Annoying, Isn’t It! (My Next Poem Will Be Split Into Two Posts For Length)
There once was a cinematic sequel
With a cliffhanger end like no equal.
The heroes were shocked
When the villain they mocked
Turned out to be…
Filed under Poems
When Vegetarians Snap
There once was a Chihuahua from next door
That barked, whined, and then barked more.
Eventually he died
And nobody cried.
In other news, now I’m a carnivore.
Filed under Poems
Still Better Than The New Hobbit Movies
There once was a fellow named Baggins
Who tired of old Gandalf’s naggin’s.
He stole a gold ring
From a fire snake thing
And inspired the game “Dungeons and Dragons”.
Filed under Poems
She Said Yes!
There once was a poet who asked
“Girlfriend, with marrying me will you be tasked?”
She said “Yes, ‘cause you’re weird
“And have a sexy beard.”
Then in congratulations we basked.
Filed under Poems
Car Insurance And Corporate Suckupishness: A Modern Masterpiece Of Poetical Ingenuity
There once was a certifiable psycho
Who didn’t want to save money with Geico.
He was a horrible git
And that’s about it
And if Geico gives me a sponsorship because I emphasized their brand message, then me like-o.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 